Parents & Children Walk Christ's Way

Let’s turn our Bibles to Ephesians chapter 6 and we will read from verses 1 till 4. In the previous studies we have seen how Christians ought to walk and we have seen how Christians ought to walk Christ’s way and how wives have to walk in Christ’s way, husbands have to walk Christ’s way. And today, the title of the sermon is “Parents and Children Walk Christ’s Way.”

Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 to 4. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Let’s pray. Father, we thank you for your word. Thank you, Lord, for this, for your wisdom for our lives.

And we pray that we would see our own folly in the light of your wisdom. And we pray, God, that as your people, may we seek your wisdom. May we be earnest, O Lord, wisdom to our lives. Father, bless our time as we look into your word. Bless all the parents and also the children and all of us also, Father. In Jesus Christ name we pray, amen. So I request all the kids, all the kids, to pay attention. I wish that they sit in the front rows, but it’s fine, but make your children sit.

The first part of the sermon is for them, and then it is for the parents. Today we'll focus on the relationship between the children and parents. And in this context, this is one of the areas where we demonstrate a distinctive pattern of life as Christians. And such a life is possible only when we live under the control of the Holy Spirit. As we have seen in Ephesians chapter 5 verse 18, it's a mandate for all Christians to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to live under the control of the Holy Spirit.

And Christian life is only possible through the grace that God gives us. So this is the first, this is the outline that I’m going to show. First is the exhortation to the children. And the second will be the exhortation to the parents. Under the first point, exhortation to the children. The first point is that let the children be part of the church meetings. Let the children be part of the church meetings. Look at verse 1. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

Paul wrote this letter to a church, and this letter was meant to be read when the church gathered. Right? And we need to observe here that the children were present in the church when this letter was read. See, notice here Paul doesn’t say, “Tell your children, parents, tell your children to obey your…” or no, “obey you.” He says, it’s a direct address to the kids. As this letter was read in a church gathering, this was a direct address to the kids, which means that it, the children were present in a church gathering, right? So it’s so, uh, not so common in our time, because we send our kids to the Sunday school meeting, uh, during, uh, our, you know, our church gathering. We

see them as some kind of a distraction, um, you know, today. But historically, biblically, kids were part of the solemn assembly. And, uh, this will, as they are part of the church gatherings now, this will tremendously impact our kids as we disciple them very early on. And many churches today, children are not told to pay attention during the church gatherings, right? They are either sent to Sunday school during this time, or especially during the preaching, and are engaged in some other activities. They are given some toys or some crayons, right, that they can sit and draw. I understand, like

the toddlers are fine. I’m talking about little grown-up kids who can understand our words, right? Kids from the age of three, they understand your words. Three, four, they understand your words, right? You should train your kids to sit in the church meetings. Understand that when a child is very young, especially as an infant, and the child at the age may frequently cry. So the, there may be no, the parents may go out and stand outside, and that’s understandable. Or in some places they look at a separate place for the parents and the infants. That’s understandable. But otherwise we should let the children

sit in the church meetings. And a good time to start is if a child has grown up to understand your words, you must let them be part of your meetings. Part of your instruction to your children should be how they must behave when we meet as a church. They would, they wouldn’t learn it automatically. You should train them, you should teach them. You should teach them manners, right, when you meet people, right? You look at verse one. It shows that children here are an integral part of the church worship. Now, early churches didn’t have — we have Sunday schools.

Sunday schools was very recent invention. Well, I have no objections to Sunday school. It’s a good medium to instruct kids if we do it in a right way. Right? But I believe that children should also be included in the regular church meetings every Sunday. We have several examples even from the Old Testament. When the people of Judah returned from captivity under the reforms of Ezra, there was a prayer gathering. You know, these days believers themselves don’t under, attend prayer meetings. And here we see, here we see here that, you know, there was a solemn gathering

and who are, who all are involved in this prayer gathering? Ezra chapter 10 verse 1, it says, “While Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, a very great assembly of men and women and children gathered to him out of Israel, for the people wept bitterly.” Look at, Joel also encourages the people to repent of their sins and calls for a fasting prayer. Remember, it’s a fasting prayer. Look at verse 15 and 16 of chapter 2 of Joel. It says, “Blow the trumpet in Zion, consecrate a fast, call a solemn assembly.” What consisted of this solemn

assembly, who were part of this solemn assembly? Verse 16, “Gather the people, consecrate the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, even nursing infants.” Even nursing infants. “Let the bridegroom leave his room and bride her chamber.” Even nursing infants were part of this fasting prayer.

Writings from the first three centuries of Christianity addressed children alongside their parents, reminding us that children were part of Christian gatherings. For example, Ignatius the early church father, he wrote to the church in Smyrna. It’s one of the earliest church fathers. And he was writing to the church of Smyrna. And he said these things, “I salute the families of my brethren with their wives and children, and the widows. Be strong, I pray, in the power of the Holy Ghost.” Wives and children. Even children were part of solemn assembly. So don’t see your children as a distraction. Verse 1 is a direct address to children. Do not see kids as a distraction. If they are distracting the meeting, that means that the fault is on the parents. We are not training, not discipling them.

Parents, train your children and tell them lovingly and repeatedly that they should be part of the church meetings. This is not my wisdom, brothers and sisters. This is the wisdom from the word. Do you think that the kids in the Old Testament didn’t cry? They cried. Kids in the early just didn’t cry? They cried. Do you think that they didn’t run around? They will, they would have. The point is that, no, we should train them. We know many things. No, as children, kids sit here. I think many things will go over their heads. They may.

It’s a good start. They will learn things faster than we expect. Sunday church gatherings are opportunities for our children to receive grace. They will hear the word proclaimed. They may not get everything, but they may get some. But eventually they’ll get it. The word of God is powerful and it will not return void. The prophet Isaiah says that.

The Lord will eventually work in the hearts of our kids. You know what happened in the history of Israel? The children of Israel asked their parents while participating in the Passover. You see there, they ask this question, “What does this mean?” Similarly, our children will question when they see and hear.

We answer by pointing them to a Savior who willingly died for His people. As they hear the word, whatever they comprehend, go back home, sit with them, discuss with them, let there be a Q&A, right? And help your kids. It’s a good opportunity for you to train your kids. And parents, after church meetings, you should make time to spend with your kids. Explain to your little ones about the things that they have heard in the church gathering. It’s a good opportunity for discipleship. It’s a good opportunity for discipleship. Second point, it’s a direct address to the kids. Again, kids are meant to sit in the Sunday church gathering.

It’s a direct address to the kids. Paul is saying, “Children, obey your parents.” “Children, obey your parents, for this is right.” As we have observed that this letter was read at a church gathering, and the children heard how they had to behave in their respective homes, similarly the children must listen to the biblical mandates in a church meeting. They should know how they have to behave in their homes with their parents. Firstly, here children are those who are in the process of learning and growing.

You know, you look at verse 4. It says that they are still under the instruction of their fathers. He’s calling them as children. They are still under the instruction of their parents. They’re still learning. They’re still growing. They’re still receiving from their parents. They’re still looking up to the parents.

Here, oh children, this is how you must live in your homes. You must obey your parents. This is a direct command from the Lord. You must obey your parents. And obedience here is an imperative. It’s a commandment. You must do it. There is no other option. There is no other way around. You must obey your parents. There should be absolute obedience. And this is also called as implicit obedience or immediate obedience. There are, there are at least three things in, um, uh, as we understand immediate obedience. What do we understand by immediate obedience? Number one, children, do what you’re told.

As long as you're under the authority of your parents, you do what your parents tell you. Parents, if you do not see your children obeying you immediately, you must deal with it prayerfully. They are not the times of cuteness when they are showing disobedience to you.

There are times, there should be times of serious concern when they are not immediately obeying you. You must deal with it prayerfully. Moreover, if you do not deal with this when they are toddlers, our children will grow up to be disobedient, disrespectful and obnoxious teens. If you're t— if you have a t— if you have seen teens and if you see them as rebellious kids, because the reason is that, the primary reason is that, because the parents have failed them, fail to invest in them while they were still toddlers. Secondly, children, do it when you're told. You obey the first time you're told. Immediate obedience is pleasing to the Lord. There will be a few parents — I was once

like that. I learned my lessons. If your child didn't obey or delays in obedience, you may be tempted to start counting from one to five. Right? And then after five, you again start counting from one to five. I'm giving you one more chance. I'm counting from one, two, three, four, five. And if they still haven't obeyed, then you will… You know, the point is that this isn't the right approach.

And the point is that you're not teaching your child to obey. By counting, you're teaching your child to delay in obedience. You're teaching your child that it's okay to delay obedience. Instead, teach them to obey immediately. And parents sometimes use another technique to control their kids. Tone of voice.

Our tone changes after repeated soft tones and then becomes harsh tone. And your child may have decided not to obey until he or she hears that harsh tone. Again, you're teaching your child to delay in obedience. We do not want our children to do what they want, no? Or how they want. We want our children to do what we say with no conditions attached.

We want them to obey, obey, period. And that comes by training, that comes by disciplining them while they're still toddlers, while they're still very cute, right? It's important to discipline them from that age. Parents should eventually stop repeating themselves, should not yell but speak in gentle but still firm and follow through the consequences of every act of disobedience, every act of disobedience.

Children, do it when you are told. That is pleasing to the Lord. Third point: children, obey your parents out of a respectful attitude, not grumbling, right? When parents tell you something which is right, you must do it out of honor and respect to your parents. Do not obey your parents grudgingly, by throwing things like this, you know, here and there, by throwing tantrums. Obey them immediately. If you are obeying them grudgingly, it is not pleasing to the Lord. It is not pleasing to the Lord. You should do it out of respect and honor towards your parents. If you're not respecting your parents, it is not

pleasing to the Lord. The Lord is dishonored if you're not respecting your parents. And parents, see through that your children obey you out of respect. You can sense that, if they are respecting you, if they're honoring you or not. You need to train them for that. And do not ignore any disrespectful behavior. If your child is doing something with a grumbling spirit, smacks the lips or slams the door, it is not good. It's not good. They should be corrected for that behavior as well.

Obedience should be implicit and immediate. The church, especially the parents, should train their kids to obey immediately. So children, obey your parents immediately. And then Paul gives a biblical qualification for obedience. Paul qualified this exhortation with a prepositional phrase, “in the Lord.” He says that “children submit to your parents in the Lord.” That is, do whatever parents require as long as the instruction does not lead outside God's will.

Of course, the children at a very young age may not comprehend that. But as they grow, kids will see that. Kids will see that. As they keep hearing the word, kids will identify that. And if the children are grown up and are believers, if your parents force you to do something contrary to God's word, then the children may refuse to do it. But they should still refuse it respectfully. If the parents still persist, counsel the church elders or some elderly people and deal with the situation appropriately.

Deal with the situation appropriately. New Testament scholar Robert Plummer comments that obeying parents is ultimately an expression of bowing one’s knees to the Lord. It’s an expression to offer devotion to the Lord. There’s no point in singing songs, there’s no point in doing whatever you are doing as a Christian if you’re not showing obedience to your parents. You must obey your parents, otherwise it’s not pleasing to the Lord. Children, remember, obedience to parents is a biblical mandate. Therefore obeying your parents is obeying God. Obeying parents is obeying God. And secondly, Paul gives a biblical motivation for obedience. It says that children obey your parents because it

is right. It is right. It is the right thing to do. It’s the correct thing to do. So in general children know that obedience to your parents is right. It’s always right. It is right because God commanded it. Look at Colossians chapter 3 verse 20. He says that this pleases the Lord. He’s happy with you. He’s pleased with you when you obey the Lord. And obedience is right. Disobedience is sin against God.

And Paul includes disobedience to parents in the catalog of ungodliness in Romans chapter 1 verse 30. It’s a characteristic of ungodliness. Upon which the wrath of God is manifested. Describing the ungodliness in the last days. And Paul says in 2 Timothy chapter 3 verse 2. “For the people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, and disobedient to their parents.”

Writing to Romans again, chapter 1, verse 18. “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness.” So obedience to your parents is always right. Obey your parents. And under the Old Testament law, disobedience to parents was a severe offense. Now what they did if a son disobeyed? You want to know what they did if a son disobeyed in the Old Testament? This was under the law. Deuteronomy chapter 21 verse 18.

It says that “if a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother and though they discipline him, he will not listen to them.” See, again here, you see the principle of discipline? They have to discipline their children. Even if they do not listen after discipline. Look at verse 21. It says that, “then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you will purge the evil from your midst. And all Israel shall hear and fear.” Such was the consequence under the law.

I think if that still continued, we wouldn’t have been seated here today. Right? Right? Remember the seriousness of discipline. Seriousness of children’s obedience. And remember, you know, you might be sitting here as a person who have crossed that age and you may have had disrespected your parents, dishonored your parents, disobeyed your parents all your life.

You may not do anything now about it, but you can still repent of it. If your parents are still alive, you can go and tell them, “Daddy, Mommy, I’m sorry for being an obnoxious child. A rebellious child. Please forgive me for causing heartache to you.” You can always do that.

You can always do that. And then Paul says that this is a commandment with a blessing. This is a commandment with a blessing. Look at verses 2 & 3 of Ephesians chapter 6. He says it, “Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may be well with you and that you may live long in” Okay kids, this is a question. How many commandments are there in 10 commandments?

Right, in the list of the 10 commandments, this particular commandment is the fifth. And it is the first commandment with a promise. God gave commandments to the Israelites and who are yet to enter the promised land and they were called to live by this law and this particular commandment came with a promise. And we must understand that this promise is limited to the Israelites in a sense, not to the new covenant believers because it’s talking about the land, which is Israel, right? However, the application of this promise is also much debated today. Uh, you can still apply it to us in a sense that, no, we will be with the Lord. It’s a characteristic of the obedient children of God. But Paul quoted the Old Testament promise, I think, primarily to show the importance of the commandment which had a promise attached to it. And nevertheless,

children, God deems obedience to your parents as essential. So you must obey. You must obey. Is there a reluctance in your heart? Do you see always rebelling against your parents? Do you see a consistent attitude of grumbling in your hearts? You need something.

You need to, you need the gospel grace. All that rebelliousness in your heart, all that desire not to obey your parents, it’s a sign that we are all sinners. We have a sinful, rebellious heart like any instruction. That’s a sign that we are sinful.

And we are dealing with sin here. And sin attracts God’s punishment. God’s judgment. And if we continue to live with that heart, if you continue to pamper that rebellious heart in you, you will one day die with it. And if you die in that state, you will receive the punishment from the Lord. And it is an eternal punishment from the Lord.

But God doesn’t want us to end that way. Right? He has offered us a way to be saved from that rebellious heart. You cannot save yourself from that rebellious heart. But God has made a way for you. He has offered his Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is one with the Father, but he came into this world as a man, lived like a man. He is the only man who has ever obeyed God perfectly. He is the perfect Son of God.

He never rebelled against God. All humans in some way rebelled against God. But it’s Jesus who lived a perfect life on this earth and He never rebelled against God. He pleased God fully so that He went to the cross. He took your sins. He suffered in our place. We should die for our sins. But Jesus paid that penalty for our sins, and he died, and he rose again, and he, and through his work on the cross, through his offering on the cross, through what he has accomplished on the cross, God can save us, save you. If you see obedience to your parents is a difficult

thing. But now, by God’s grace, through Jesus, if you come to Jesus and surrender your lives to the Lord as your Lord and your Savior and seek His forgiveness and His grace, He will help you to willingly, lovingly, respectfully obey your parents. So therefore, remember this. Children, do what you’re told. Children, do it when you’re told. Children, obey your parents with a respectful attitude. And parents, watch out. If your children are not doing what they’re told when they’re told, and if they’re not doing out of respectful attitude, then it’s a time to deal with your kids with love, grace and prayer. And one final word to the adults, adult children. This commandment to obey the parents does not apply to the adults who are no longer under their parents’ authority. We are, we are not under any obligation to obey our parents. But all children

must obey — sorry, honor — our parents at all times. You may not, you may not obey them at all times. You need not obey them at all times once you have grown up and you have your own family, you’re, you’re starting, you started living on your own. But you must always honor your parents. Now, speaking of the Pharisees’ hypocrisy in, uh, a lot, Jesus Christ in Matthew chapter 15 and also in Mark chapter 7, Jesus condemns the attitude of these Pharisees toward their parents. They were avoiding their responsibility towards their aged parents, the Pharisees, if they were not willing to support their

parents, and they would say, “It’s Corban,” which means that which belonged to the parents now belongs to God. They would not support their parents. They would abandon their parents. And they would free themselves from the responsibility that they have towards their parents. And Jesus condemns that. Jesus condemns that. And I want to give a caution to all men and women seated here. If you have aged parents, if you have your parents, and even your in-laws are like your parents, they are like your parents, don’t abandon them.

Care for them. When they need you, you be there for them. Do not live an individualistic life. Do not buy the philosophy of this world. Do not abandon them to old age homes. Take care of them. And when they need your care, your help, bring them into your homes.

Show that love, care and respect. Honor your parents. Don’t abandon them in their old age. They must have committed many mistakes as parents. They may not have been good parents to you, but you. It is your responsibility as a child of God to honor your parents, to care for them when they’re in need. As long as they can live by themselves, that’s fine. But if they cannot, you have to care for them.

We must honor our parents, respect them and care for them. Even if we disagree with our parents, we must do it respectfully. We shouldn’t yell at our parents. Even if they’re wrong, tell them that they’re wrong respectfully. The world around you may not respect your parents. Few parents may have earned a bad name, but still, as a child, you must still honor your parents, respect your parents. Secondly, the exhortation to the parents. Number one, the biblical foundation for a Spirit-ruled home, biblical foundation for a Spirit-ruled home. In verse 4, in verse 4, we observe that the fathers have a solemn responsibility to instruct their children. No, children are not born with an innate knowledge of God and the importance of God’s word.

It is responsibility of parents to teach them. Solid biblical foundations must be laid in the home from an early age. Children must know that God's word rules your home. That Jesus is the king of your home. His word governs your home. If your kids are living there, they must know that, “okay, God's word is given the greatest importance in our home.” Parents should instill in their children the understanding that God's word is the guiding principle for their existence from very beginning.

In the same way, parents must let the children know that their call in their homes, in your homes is to obey their parents. You should tell your children that your call in this home is to obey us. Start giving them a biblical worldview of everything, of life, purpose, God, man, sex and everything.

Do not leave them to the televisions. Do not leave them to your school, their schools. Spend time with your kids. Give them a biblical worldview. Sit with them. Talk to them. And this is the primary responsibility of the fathers. Fathers, do not be absent fathers. Spend time with your kids. Talk to them. Interact with them. Your presence is really important in the lives of— Men in the home should take the leadership role and see that God's word is honored in your home. And wives should submit to their husbands and cooperate with their husbands in building your homes.

Parenting is a shared responsibility between the fathers and mothers. However, the father should take the lead and mothers should cooperate. Unfortunately, in today's times, many fathers are absent. Many fathers are absent. This missing connection between the father and the children is one of the many reasons that contribute to various problems in a child.

And statistics show that the increased rates of suicides in teens or drug addictions, depression, unhealthy relationships is mainly because of absent fathers. This. But if you're an absent father, do not be surprised tomorrow that your kid comes and tell, “Hey Dad, this is my girlfriend,” or the— “Hey Dad, this is my boyfriend.” Don't be surprised. Parents, your role is very important in bringing up your kids. Fathers, you should spend time, quality time with your kids. Do not be lost in your work.

You may be providing them everything, all the comforts. That's important. But your time with your kids is really important. You should play with your kids. Be a kid with them. Play with them. Teach them. Talk to them. Talk to them about life. Talk to them about sin. Talk to them about various things. Have a discussion with them. Being a father is a solemn responsibility given by God. And people who are not yet fathers, take this to heart. If you are planning to become a father, are in the process of becoming a father. I mean, in a way they are already fathers.

Take this to heart. Your role is very crucial, very important. Don't abandon your kids to your wives. You will be accountable to God. God will hold you accountable for neglecting your kids. It is not the primary responsibility of the Sunday schools to train your kids.

Don't be content that your children are part of some Sunday school or some youth group. Don't be content with that. Your investment in your kids is very important and crucial. Secondly, fathers, do not abuse your authority as a parent. And in his instruction to the fathers, Paul begins with a negative command, a prohibition first. Look at verse 4, he says that, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger.”

Parents, be careful how you bring up your children. Paul starts with a negative command, these things we must avoid in parenting. Though this is directed at fathers, it can also apply to the mothers in the context— are included in the preceding verses, so it can also apply to both fathers and mothers. So Paul— no, so, uh, Paul must have had both in his— on his mind when he wrote this, but I think he's addressing to the fathers because the fathers should take the lead. And as parents, you should not provoke your children to anger. In the Greek language, the word provoking to anger is one word.

And provoke can mean to cause someone to become annoyed or angry. It is to incite or stimulate someone to become angry. Our words and our behavior can incite such anger in kids. Not just fathers, but even mothers are equally capable of provoking their children to anger. How can a parent provoke children to anger?

There are many ways a parent can provoke children to anger. Number one is over strictness. By being overly strict parents appear to be harsh. And and very early on it's try to avoid such parents, they want to run away from such parents, they don't want to be there. And when parents are overly strict, they tend to control their kids in an unhealthy manner.

Children can be provoked or annoyed with such controlling parents and they wouldn't be comfortable to live in such an environment. Once they get freedom, they'll fly away. They'll be glad that they left your home. Don't be overly strict. Don't be harsh with your kids. Secondly, favoritism. And one of the most frustrating behaviors of parents is favoritism. Imagine the home of Isaac and Rebecca. Isaac favored Esau, Rebecca favored Jacob. Be cautious. In the Bible, don't think that it is right. Don't have your favorite kids. That is sinful, that was sinful, that was wrong, that was foolish. Years later Jacob also followed his parents. He had a, he had a, he had an example of Isaac and Rebecca before him. So he favored whom? Joseph, right? He favored Joseph above all his children. Joseph was very dear to his father. He would give him good clothes

while other brothers worked hard, sweating under the sun. And this fellow was sitting with his dad, right? And such an attitude annoyed the other brothers, provoked jealousy in them. Parents, do not show favoritism. One child may be good looking and cute, whereas another may be beautiful or not so beautiful.

Do not compare. And others also, please be mindful when you address or your second daughter or your first son is so handsome, so beautiful. You know, be careful, be mindful when you talk such way, right? So, you don't know the hearts of the kids. You don't know the hearts of the kids.

And to a parent, all their children should be precious. One may be a bright student, another may be a dull student. Do not expect your dull child to compete with your bright child. Do not compare them with other kids. Do not compare one child with another. That would provoke your children to anger. And thirdly, criticism.

Parents who criticize your kids bring discouragement to your children. Their spirit will be broken. Criticism belittles your children and weakens them. Instead, admonish them, correct them, encourage them, appreciate them, talk to them, give them feedback in a healthy manner, a constructive criticism, not pull them down when they fail. Your critical attitude will provoke your children to anger.

If your child has failed in exams, that's okay. Encourage him. Encourage him. Do whatever you can, but don't criticize your kids. Next is busyness. Parents, spend time with your kids. Have a good time with them. Talk to them. Friends with them. Play with them. In your busyness, do not crowd out your time with your kids.

Fathers are incredibly guilty of this. Incredibly guilty of this. Spend time with your kids. Make time. Take it off. Not just to relax, but to spend time with your kids. To play with them. Very young. God with them. Go for a drive, talk to them. No, spend time exclusively with your kids.

And next, pushy parents. I never understand this. Or I never understood this. Maybe parents have failed dreams, I think. Right? Maybe my dad didn't want to become, couldn't become an engineer, become an engineer, right? So to study engineering. And you know, and you know, you can guide them, you can give them suggestions, you can see their capabilities, their interests and guide them. Engineers are not the only ones who are surviving in this world, or neither the doctors. You know that dream and they push those dreams upon their children.

Imposing such ambitions on them can exasperate your kids. Parents, remember that your children are individuals. They have their own aspirations as they grow up. Respect that. Respect that. Don't be pushy. And next, finally, abusive parents. Abusive parents exasperate kids. Parents who physically or verbally abuse their children will exasperate them. Don't mistake abuse with discipline. Discipline is not abuse, right? Discipline is way far different from abuse. If you have, if you're thinking that no, discipline is to abuse, no, you

You discipline your kids out of love. You discipline your kids for their benefit, not out of anger or frustration. And when you're — when you're frustrated, when you're angry and you deal with your kids, you're abusing your kids. And even when your children see you abuse — let's say even if the children see the fathers abuse their mothers, in some cases they witness mothers verbally abusing their fathers, such abusive behavior will also provoke the children to anger. And there are just of — these are just a few reasons, and there could be many more. But do not be irritated with your kids, do not be severe in

disciplining them, do not have unreasonable demands, and do not abuse your pure — your authority as a parent. Thirdly, fathers, exercise your God-given authority as a steward of God. Parents, remember that your responsibility as a parent is God-given. You're accountable to God. Therefore parenting is holy and holy responsibility. You are an ambassador of God taking his word and ruling your home. Parents, be careful what you love and value in your lives. Eventually that will be the impetus in your parenting. Many of today's parents have the wrong values, and the place their values on possessions, success, or even ministry and

others, and eventually parents will tend to neglect critical time relationship commitments with their children. Paul gives the positive command here, fathers, “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” The original word for bring up here is which means nurturing, to nourish, to feed and to care.

And this verb in the original language, it is an imperative, it's a commandment. You should do everything to bring them up, to nurture them, to nourish them, to feed them, to care for them. Continual action, not merely an impulsive act of the moment. And therefore, effective parenthood requires continual diligence in the task of rearing kids. And these words nurture, nourish, feed, care, now manifest a tender, gentle quality which should be manifested in our parenting. Fathers, be tender with your kids.

Be gentle with your kids. I think it has something to do with the masculinity, you know. Even Paul talks about it, uh, writing to the Colossians about husbands, “do not be harsh with your wives,” and here he says that husbands, in a way, do not be harsh with your kids. Be gentle, be tender. How is it possible? As we live under the control of the Spirit of God. Fathers, the next thing is, it says that fathers bring them up in the discipline, in discipline of the Lord. The word properly means your discipline, probably means training, educating your child. We are to moral teach

and encourage godly patterns of life in our kids. Now Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 7 says that “you shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall talk to them when you sit in your home, when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise.”

Seek for opportunities to communicate God's word to your kids. Proverbs 22:6, “train up a child in the way that he should go, even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” You invest time in your kids, them, they'll be grateful to you when they leave your home. And this second word, his intrac, is instruction, and the original word actually carries the connotation of, uh, admonition, warning and reproving, which may also include disciplining. Now give them biblical reasons for everything. Please give them a scripture centered, Bible centered perspective of life and purpose. Just don't tell them do this and do that, no. Don't — give them a biblical perspective of things. Describe why is it wrong, talk to them why such and such a thing is wrong. Tell them why not entering into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship is wrong.

If you don't talk to them, they will surprise you. Brothers and sisters, they will surprise you tomorrow. Tell them that it is wrong. Tell them that it is wrong to think of a woman or a man before the time of their marriage. Tell them it is wrong. Otherwise, the movies will teach them.

them, that their peers will teach them, they will teach them, they will see, they will learn, they will want it. That sinful heart yearns for it. You should talk to them, you should invest to them, you should give a reason for everything. Talk to them why such and such a thing is wrong and what such and such a thing is right. Talk to them, otherwise you will lose your kids. Someone said, Solomon said, train.

Here's a quotation. He said, “He did not say raise. You raise vegetables, but you train children. Feeding a child nutritious meals, providing warm clothing, giving them him his own bedroom or kissing him goodnight is not training. Training a child is calculated instruction and discipline to form long-term character and wisdom in the fear of the Lord and the knowledge of Scripture.”

See, he says that it is a calculated effort. You must prepare to talk to your kids. You must study to talk to your kids. You must pray before you talk to your kids. Parents, remember that you are called to be faithful, consistent tools in the hands to create God consciousness and God submission in your kids.

And to do this effectively, parents must have a strong love bond with your kids. Parents must schedule a time daily to study the Bible or talk about the Bible consistently with your kids. Allow them to ask questions, reason with them, give them books to read, and you also need to equip yourself as you train your kids, as you invest time in your kids. And when you see sin in your child, you don’t brush it off as cuteness. Don’t brush it off as cuteness, especially, you know, in the growing kids. Don’t brush it off as cuteness. If your kid is not, uh, throwing the food everywhere, don’t say, “Oh, my cute baby.” No, that is indiscipline. If your kids do not have table manners, that is indiscipline. But do it gently, slowly. They will learn. They

will learn. Don’t be harsh again when you are dealing with that. Be patient. And others also happen to witness, you know, some kid doing that, be patient with them. Don’t judge them immediately. Be patient, be kind, right? Give time, give time. And also reprove them, reprove your kids. If necessary, spank the child, not out of anger, because it is required, because Bible says so. No, many kids, many parents, I don’t understand that.

Spanking is not allowed in their homes. Do you think that your wisdom is greater than the wisdom of God's word? God says, spank. Use the rod. In Proverbs chapter 13, verse 26, he says that, no, use the rod. you discipline the child when they're wrong don't try to be wiser than god has given you kids do it his way not your way do it his way not your way and finally we must observe here that the training or children or discipline or instruction is of the lord you know paul refers to training and instruction no that the lord gives to children through the parents it's the training and instruction is around the Lord it's about the Lord it's of the Lord it's from the Lord and you're just a medium you're communicating the Lord's instructions his ways his patterns his life to

your kids. You’re pointing your kids to the Lord. It’s not about you, it’s about the Lord. So as a parent, you’re pointing them to the Lord, His life, His instructions. The reference point is the Lord. The reference point of your instruction and training and discipline is the Lord. You discipline your child because the Lord said so. You as a parent should spend time with your kids, talk to them about the word and give them a biblical worldview because the Lord said so.

And as a faithful steward, you will do what the Lord says. Parenting is a diligent effort. Every setting or situation can be turned into an opportunity for discipleship. A Christian home must be marked off as God’s territory, a training place. It is a school of love, grace, God’s wisdom, God’s authority, and Christ’s kingship. A Christian home should reflect God’s kingdom. Not only do you teach and instruct, but make sure you demonstrate the word to them in practical ways. By showing obedience, by showing God and His word as your priority, you exemplify your instructions.

You exemplify your instructions. Love and respect your spouses. Husbands, if you love and respect and care for your wives, your children will learn to respect women. The reason that many men do not respect women in society because they haven’t seen the men who are over them respecting women.

Men, you start respecting your woman. Your woman in the sense like your wife, your sisters, your mothers. Other sisters in the Lord. You respect, you show respect to women. Your kids will learn respecting women. Wives, if you respect love and submit to your husbands, even when you disagree with your husbands, you still respect them.

And if kids observe that, they’ll follow you. If you always fight with your husbands, throw tantrums at him, pull him down, they will learn the same thing. They will follow them. They will follow that. Tomorrow, you have, you’re making a good investment or bad investment in your kids. The way you treat others, the way you handle money, the way you deal with your maids. This is an important thing, the way you deal with your maids in your home. Deal with them with, deal with them with respect. Talk to them with respect.

Don’t treat them as slaves. The way you treat your maids will pass a message to the kids. I hardly see kids addressing the maids as, you know, with respect, auntie or uncle, they call them by their names. They wouldn’t do that with other older men or women. Because you haven’t taught them. Because you disrespect your maids, so your kids will also have learned the same thing.

Your instruction from the word to your child is productive when you live by the word. And when you fail, brothers and sisters, your failures. When you fail, let your children know that you're sorry. You're repenting. When you offend someone, seek forgiveness. If you hurt your child, tell them that you're sorry for hurting them.

So brothers and sisters, exemplify that you depend on God in your weakness, in times of need. Remember your children you for a time. There will come a day when they will leave your home and if you bring up your children in love and discipline of the Lord, you will have a lifelong influence over your kids. Even if they go far away from you, they will look up to you in times of trouble and need.

They will… If you haven't made a good investment in your kids, when they are in times of need or crisis, they will not even think of you. So, brothers and sisters, parenting is a humongous task. You need to prepare yourself for it. If you're already a parent, if you have failed, do not regret, but repent.

Our lives as parents are filled with many regrets dealt with it that way or spend more time with our kids. No, the regret is a good sign. It could be dangerous to live in it. Living in regret allows us to focus more on our failures than on the redeeming grace of God. Repent, God gives grace. And rectify with your kids, talk to your kids about the way you have failed, seek their forgiveness. The grace of God leads us to repentance and humble confession to our children. And maybe gives us a fresh start. And secondly, God gives us his grace. Depend on him. Remember, we all need God's grace to be faithful stewards. We need divine enablement for this task. God designed us to depend on him, on his resources. We are called to depend on the Holy Spirit. We need

to seek his grace. We got us, put us in the community to seek help from one another, to be vulnerable to others, to tell them, to let other brothers and sisters know that we are struggling. We need grace. We need help. We need wisdom. Don't our family is perfect. That's not the — that's not the reason that we are in a community. We are in a community to seek help from one another, not to show that I am holier than you, not to show them that I have a bed, I have a greater prayer life or a greater knowledge of the word. Do not show

them, I have better kids. No, we are here to help one another, build one another. Let's pray. Take a moment, reflect on the things that we have heard, and if it is from the word, do something about it. This is a wisdom from the Lord, from his word. And as children, we do not have greater wisdom than this.

Father, we pray at this time, we thank you for your wisdom. Forgive our children for their rebellious natures. Forgive them, Lord. We pray that you would teach them to obey you and obey their parents. Give them grace to be saved. We pray also, Father, that you would give grace to all the parents to take this responsibility seriously, Father.

Give us grace. Help us change. Help us repent. Help us depend on you. Help us seek help from others. And from your word, Lord, Father, build us up. Build our homes. Thank you, Father, Lord, in Jesus Christ's name we pray. Amen.