Honey That Kills — The Bitter End Of Unfaithfulness

Good morning everyone. Hope you're all doing well, by God's grace. We are doing a series on marriage. So we'll continue to do that even today. Maybe in the next couple of weeks we will also do something on parenting. Yeah, so the last two weeks we have seen the from 1st Peter chapter 3 about the husband's responsibility to lead his family in an understanding way and also how a wife should conduct herself in a Christian home. So we have contemplated on many things.

And I'd like to, before we go to today's passage, I want to mention one more thing. As we say that we are biblical complementarians, but I want to mention one thing is that if you have read any books on marriage or complementarianism versus egalitarianism and things like that, one thing that you will see is like a constant, especially with the many biblical complementarians, is that they compare biblical marriage to that of the relationship of Christ and the Father.

I want to mention that I disagree with that because that is not biblical. Because we see comparisons of human marriage with Christ and the church, not with the Trinity. The intra-Trinitarian relations, the relations of the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit are far distinct and distinct and we are far removed from that reality. And because God exists in totally in a different realm. So the Trinitarian relationships is not a model for human marriage. So, and it is always compared to Christ and the church. And therefore in human marriage there is a form of hierarchy, no? Husband and husband leads and wife submits. And we have seen what that leadership looks like. It's not like — it's not a domineering leadership but a servant leadership. And whereas wife submits as out of respect to the Lord. So I just want

to bring this clarity before we move forward. Today we will look at Proverbs chapter 5. We'll read a couple of verses. Maybe we'll read from verses 1 till verse 15. Proverbs chapter 5 verses 1 till — or maybe we can read the entire passage. Let's read it together. Proverbs chapter 5 verses 1 till 23. And I'm reading it from the NASB version.

“My son, give attention to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding, that you may observe discretion and your lips may reserve knowledge. For the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil is her speech. But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death. Her steps take hold to Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life. Her ways are unstable and she does not know it. Now then my sons, listen words of my mouth, keep your way from her and do not go near the door of her house, or you will give your vigor to others and your years to the cruel one, and strangers will be filled with your strength and your hard-earned goods will go to

the house of an alien, and you groan at your final end, when your flesh and your body are consumed, and you say, How I have hated instruction and my heart spurned. I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, nor inclined my ear to my instructors. I was almost in utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation. Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well. Should your springs be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets, let them be yours alone and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth, as a loving and a graceful dove.

Let her breast satisfy you at all times. Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he watches all his paths. His own iniquities will capture the wicked and he will be held with the cords of his sin. He will die for lack of instruction and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray.” Let's pray. Father we thank you for your word. We come before you as a needy people, as a people who are in need of your wisdom, Lord, to shape our lives, Lord, to live in a manner that is really pleasing in your sight.

Lord, we pray that you would help us understand, Lord, Father God, your word and your purposes for our lives and also our sexualities. Lord, we pray so that, Lord, that we may honor you, Lord, in everything that we do. Father, we pray that these scriptural timeless principles may be formed as biblical convictions in our hearts. May you enable us to live a life that really is pleasing in your sight, Father. In Jesus Christ's name we pray. Amen.

The title of today's sermon is, Honey That Kills. Honey That Kills. The bitter end of marital unfaithfulness. We are dealing with an issue of a simple lure of an extramarital relationship. It has been very common since ages and it has been very common since also across many cultures.

An online survey was conducted to study infidelity and nearly one lakh people participated anonymously in that survey. And the survey says that men were more likely than women to engage in sexual infidelity. And the survey also shows that women were more likely than men to engage in emotional affairs, cyber sex, and online sources of infidelity. Additionally, women were more likely than men to become involved in infidelity when there were problems in the relationship or if they felt bored in their sex life and to consider leaving spouse because of some problem in their marriage.

and they were also more likely to engage in infidelity with someone who is close to their spouse. And Journal of Psychology and Christianity reports that as many as 65% of men and 55% of women will have an extramarital affair by the time they are 40.

A Christianity Today survey found that 23% of the 300 pastors who responded admitted to sexually inappropriate behavior with someone other than their wives while in the ministry. They also say that Christians engage in different kinds of affairs from one night stands to love relationships that start from friendship and develop into an affair because due to some deficiency in their spouse or in their marriage. There are also other forms of sexual addictions which are prevalent among Christians is that such as molestation and also pornography.

There are also these emotional affairs. And an emotional affair is something without sex. It happens when two people share their feelings with each other or for each other. And these emotional affairs are powerful because emotions are engaged. And they often live in a world of fantasy. And Christian counselors, they say that these emotional affairs are more deceitful and are harder to recover from because there is no sexual guilt involved.

Brothers and sisters, we need to know one thing. Being a Christian doesn't save you from extramarital affairs. Being a Christian doesn't save you from extramarital affairs. Never assume your marriage will be strong because you're a Christian. Or that you won't have an affair because you believe in the name of Lord Jesus Christ.

Brothers and sisters, we must realize that our hearts are deceitful as the Bible says. Do not trust yourself. What we need to do is consciously, we need to put efforts to safeguard our hearts and safeguard our marriages. And how do we do that?

Always pay close attention to the word of God. Examine your heart in the light of God’s word. Pray earnestly and fight every temptations in the power of the Holy Spirit. Proverbs 5 is a powerful, heartfelt instruction from a father to his son. The author probably could be Solomon.

It’s an instruction about remaining faithful to his wife and also to truly cherish her. The author describes the instructions here as “my wisdom,” but it’s essential to understand that he isn’t claiming to be the source of that wisdom since it’s in the Bible because these words are found they represent the word of God. They are the word of God. And this wisdom is deeply rooted in the holy law of God. So these are timeless principles from the word of God, from the law of God, encouraging us to honor and to uphold these timeless principles.

Firstly, we will see here an urgent plea, or urgent appeal to guard your life. An urgent appeal to guard your life. Now these instructions as we have seen are from a father to his son. It doesn’t mean these principles apply only to men. This message is for both men and women. And let us all heed this wisdom that will save us and also our marriages. Look at verse 1.

“My son, give attention to my wisdom. Incline your ear to my understanding.” There is an underlying principle here. And also in other places of the scriptures. You can actually win the battle before you are already in the snares of a temptation. How? How can you actually win a battle before you ever face the battle? Even Paul says that in First Corinthians chapter 10 verse 12. He says that, “Let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.” Take heed that he does not fall, right? We need to heed the instructions from the scriptures and let these scriptural principles be formed in us as strong biblical convictions so that our lives are governed by these scriptural truths.

So our thoughts, our feelings are governed by these scriptural truths and we are constantly informed by the word of God. And these truths should govern our conscience. We’ve got to be ready before there’s — no, there’s an actual battle. The admonition here to give attention or to incline your ear, you know the word incline here is a picture of bending, no, to listen carefully. Bend your ears to know, to hear this wisdom. Pay close attention to these words. It means that we need to be intent or take these words very seriously. And verse 2 shows us the purpose of inclining your heart to the divine wisdom. What happens? What happens when you internalize the scriptures and build a life around the scriptural values? What happens? Look at verse 2, that you may observe discretion

and your lips may reserve knowledge. And your lips may reserve knowledge. Now this is a promise here. The words here, observe and reserve, show that the wisdom in verse 1 acts like a hedge around you from deception. The scriptures that you have given to, or as you regularly give yourself to the scriptures, and study God's word, and internalize those words, when you prepare your hearts to live according to God's word, when that is your natural disposition, the scriptures act as a hedge around you. Your life is guarded by the knowledge and discretion.

And the word for discretion here is identifying the temptation or the evil ploy. It also means that when you are filled and controlled by scriptural wisdom, you won't be deceived by your own deceitful heart. You will be able to discern and keep yourselves from temptations. And you won't use your lips or speech to flatter people or to flirt with others or be unfaithful to your spouses. Now Psalm 119 verse 9 says, “How can a young man keep his way pure?” How can a young man keep his way pure? And the psalmist says, “By keeping it according to your word.” By keeping it according to your word. That's the only way we can keep ourselves pure, brothers and sisters.

The temptations to sin against the Lord, and ex— especially the sexual temptations, are very strong, very powerful. They have ruined many homes, they have destroyed many homes. These temptations have destroyed even ministries. So don't take this temptation lightly. Don't think that you're above this temptation. Never think that your marriage will always be safe because you're a strong man or a strong woman. No, you are not. There's an urgent plea to guard our lives by the scriptures. And the second point that we see here is the motivation to guard our lives. There are two motivations from we find in verses 3 till 14.

And the two motivations are that immorality will lead you to ruin, it will destroy you. And giving yourself to immorality when you have, when God has blessed you with your own spouse, is foolish, is foolish. So therefore, do not pursue sin, but guard your life with the words of wisdom. Guard your life with the words of wisdom. Look at verse 3: “For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech.”

And the word for adulteress is here a strange woman or a stranger. On the contrary, in verse 3, the speech of the person who seduces is very sweet. Her lips, which are a metaphor for the speech here, they drip honey. how words or his words appear to be sweet very caring very nourishing you know you may find your husband not uncaring but suddenly you find a guy maybe at your office no tries to stop very sweetly tries to show care you You feel that those words are so endearing, right?

Her words seem smoother than oil. Here, smoother than oil is a metaphor for flattery. She speaks with accents. He or she speaks with accents that ooze seductive charm or seductive charm. This can be applied to both men and women. And there are men out there ready to flirt. Married men ready to flirt all the time.

Sin never presents itself honestly. It comes disguised as pleasures, as pleasure, as freedom and satisfaction. The stranger here, or the strange woman, represents not merely an individual temptress but the very nature of all sin that seeks to draw us away from the living God or draw us away from God's design. And you see here, slowly her honey becomes wormwood — wormwood is a word for poison — and her smoothness turns sharp.

The survey that I mentioned at the start of the sermon showed that women are more prone to having emotional affairs. It begins with emotions and can lead to physical intimacy. When a married woman feels neglected by her husband or her emotional needs aren't met and there's growing distance in the marriage, it's a sign that the marriage is in trouble, right? And when in this phase of life you meet someone, maybe at the office, maybe online, maybe at a party, right, and you may find a man who is more caring, his words more endearing, or you may find him more humorous, because it's been a long that you even laughed with your husband.

But this man cracks a joke and you laugh. He makes you laugh, right? He may ask about your day. He may, he may, he may be concerned about your feelings. He may — and you start sharing your feelings with that person. That's how emotional affairs begin. I'm talking about Christian homes. Then she thought of that person. Soon you will delete his texts, hide his calls, and gradually you may fantasize about him romantically. Recently my friend shared with me about a couple he was counseling. They are a Christian couple that he was counseling. They are part of his church. And this Christian

couple are newly married, and they, they fell in love, they fell in love and got married. They only realized that they don't love each other after marriage. They fell in love, got married. The woman knew everything about the man before she married him. He has, he has a small job that allows him to support his family with his modest salary. And as soon after they got married, the woman started comparing him with other men. The woman started comparing him with her cousins, other families, their lifestyles. She didn't speak to him respectfully every day home because of the quality of lifestyle that they

were living he she wouldn't respect him at all. And he feel, and he felt devastated in his marriage. And before long he met a colleague who knew he was married but heard about his marital problems from this fellow. And every now and then he would check on him, check on his well-being, check on his marital life. She was kind and attentive to him.

She was very sweet to him. Her words dripped honey. He fell for her. One day he came to his home, told his wife that he wanted a divorce. He wanted to marry this strange woman, or the stranger. Christian home, the girl's father was a pastor, is a pastor. The guy grew up with Christian values, yeah. The woman in verse 3 is a forbidden woman.

The man whom you met at a social gathering is a forbidden man. The woman in your office who seems to be sweet is a forbidden woman. Now that person is forbidden because that person is outside of God's design of intimacy. A man and a woman commit to each other for life to become one flesh in the bonds of marriage. And you cannot take your body, mind and feelings and join with someone who is not your spouse. Because there is some problem in your marriage.

That is forbidden. Forbidden, that is acting against God's holy standards for our lives. All that attention that you are getting from outside feels sweet because suddenly someone is showing you some importance, but that's not the reality. Look at verse 4, look at verses 4, 5 and 6. “But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold of Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life, her ways are unstable. She does not know it.”

What looks sweet will turn out to be bitter, like wormwood. It will turn out to be poison. And he says that it's like a double-edged sword. It's big and sweet, but as it pierces your heart it will turn into a poison. You will soon realize that it's actually poison.

That's how every extramarital affair ends. Ask any person who fell in an extramarital affair. It's always bitter. It starts sweet. As you move forward, you'll realize it is poisonous, it is deadly. And verse 5, her feet is a metaphor for path here. If you follow this deceitful path, it will eventually destroy you. Proverbs 16 verse 25 says, “There is a way which seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” But its end is the way of death.

At first, all sin seems great and enjoyable. But it is actually deadly. When it talks about Eve in the Garden of Eden, looking at the tree and seeing that it was good for food, and noticing that the fruit was delightful for our eyes, is clearly warning us. The Bible is clearly warning us. Look, it may appear good on the outside and suddenly you start seeing these men and women who appear to be beautiful, handsome, caring, loving, charming, right?

It's all deceitful. It ultimately leads to death. That's a pathway of destruction. That is a motivation for you to guard your own heart from this sort of deception. Because it ruins us. So the motivation to guard our hearts is this, that because this ends up bitter. It will ruin us.

Don't trust everything that looks beautiful. Don't trust everything that tastes sweet. Don't trust everything that sounds nice. Your heart is deceitful. The Bible says so. Don't trust your feelings, brother. Trust the word. The word says differently. It's different from your feelings. Trust the word because these are the words of God. Let the word govern you. Sin promises delight and pleasure, but the end is bitter. Temptation to sin is crouching at your door.

Temptation to satisfy your legitimate desires in a forbidden way, that could be illicit relationships, pornography, or anything else. Those are all forbidden. There might be a growing distance in your marriage. Your spouse could be disrespectful to you. But that's not the reason to look for another person.

But that doesn't justify your wandering. A key reason for growing emotional gap is that men often fail to make an effort to understand their wives and be gentle with her, care for her, nourish her, not look to Christ as the source of their marriage. On the other hand, women who disrespect their men have already lost their men.

Women who disrespect their men have lost their men. But that's not the reason for you to look for another person. When you see a growing distance, for whatever reason in your marriage, it's a time to seek the face of the Lord. It's the time to look into the word. It's the time to cry out to him for healing.

You should fix your marriage in God's way. It's the time to seek the face of the Lord. Look at verses 7 till 10. “Now then, my sons, listen to me. Do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way from her and do not go near to the door of her house or you will give your vigor to others and your years to the cruel one and strangers will be filled with your strength and your hard-earned goods will go to the house of an alien.”

Firstly, we see an admonition here not to depart from the words of the father. And what is the content of this admonition? “Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house.” The point is straightforward here: stay away from tempting situations. This means building wise boundaries and refusing to flirt with temptation. Don't put yourself into situations that will lead you into temptation or sin. Do whatever you must do to distance yourself from any situation that will lead you into temptation. That is applying wisdom.

You avoid watching those movies that will create images in your mind. Stay away from anything or anyone that will lead you to sin. Don't linger around that person for whom you have feelings or whom you think will put a snare for you. Don't go to the parties where you will have to meet that person.

Never say to yourself that I have got things under control. Or never say to yourself that I can manage the temptation. Brothers and sisters, we are not called to manage temptations. We are not called to manage temptations. We are called to flee from temptations. That's the biblical wisdom. Don't believe in your own strength to manage the temptations.

Because your heart is deceitful. We are called to flee from temptations. Paul instructed the Corinthian believers in 1 Corinthians 6, verse 18, “Flee immorality.” Writing to Timothy, Paul said, “Flee youthful lusts.” And Paul also taught the Roman believers not to let sin reign in your mortal bodies. Romans 6, verse 12.

You should constantly examine your hearts. Look for any sinful motives or desires. And we must not let those desires control our lives. If there is a sinful desire, brother, sister, you should see through that is out of your life. You should go to the cross of Jesus Christ. You should plead for the blood of Jesus Christ to purge your soul. You should plead for the strength of the Holy Spirit to overcome those desires.

Otherwise, brother, that small desire which is lurking in your heart in a corner will destroy you, will ruin your heart, and slowly it will ruin your marriage. Don't pamper or nurture those sinful desires. Look out for opportunities because they will always look out for opportunities to put a snare for you.

No affair is accidental. No affair is accidental. It is always premeditated. Affairs don't happen by accident or by chance. If sin isn't regularly addressed at the heart level, it can lead to seeking opportunities. It can lead to watching porn. It can lead to fantasizing about someone in your mind. It can lead to act inappropriately with someone. It can lead you to pursue extramarital relationships or premarital relationships.

Unmarried people shouldn’t flirt with people, with everyone. If you have these desires, Bible says, go get married. That’s it. Go get married. Find a woman, find a man. Go get married. Find a suitable partner and marry. Don’t keep dating just to find the right person.

God has called you to refrain from a sexual relationship unless and until you are married. Any forbidden way or opportunity may appear sweet at the start, but it ends up bitter. It ends up bitter. That honey who is not your spouse will ruin you. So don’t be a fool in choosing sin. This is all about that we see in Proverbs, being wise or foolish. Don’t be a fool in choosing sin, but be wise in applying the wisdom, God’s word, to your lives. The forbidden way will not only ruin your soul. Look at verses 9, 10 and 11. It will sap all your strength, which you should put in right place.

You will end up spending your hard-earned money on something that will actually ruin you. And your health will be affected, verse 11. Brothers and sisters, the scripture is for warning us. So let us be wise, not foolish. Here are some consequences that we see, right? But remember, God loves you. And he will mercifully discipline you if you continue in sin. If you are struggling with sin, be accountable to someone.

Better be accountable to your own spouse. Open your heart to your spouse. Ask her or him to pray with you. Pray for you. The Lord will. Otherwise, brothers and sisters, if we continue in sin, the Lord will discipline you and he will reveal the truth. Steve Lawson may never have thought that his sin would come out, but it did. It did. And there is always shame and pain. Talk to the people who ended up in an affair or some pornography or the end is always bitter. There is a great regret, but the damage has been done. Relationships are broken. You got a bad name. God will forgive you if you genuinely repent. But people also may forgive you, but people will never forget. And verse 11, “you groan at

your final end when your flesh and your body are consumed.” What will they be groaning about? Look at verse 12. And you say, “How I have hated instruction and my heart spurned reproof. I have not listened to the voice of my teachers nor inclined my ear to my instructors. I was almost in utter ruin in the midst of the assembly and congregation.” Brothers and sisters, you end up in a wrong relationship or a wrong habit. This will be the thing you will always be regretting. You will then say, “I wish I had heard. I knew it. I was informed. I was instructed.

I was warned.” Brothers and sisters, it’s important that we safeguard our lives. God is forewarning us so that we can forearm ourselves when the time of temptation or the day of temptation comes. Remember, both married and unmarried, you have been bought with the price by the blood of Jesus Christ. With a great price. And now you are indwelled and empowered by the Holy Spirit to live for the glory of God. You are called upon to glorify God with your bodies, with your desires.

Joseph was a lonely man living in a foreign land. He did not have a wife, but he faced seduction. He was seduced by his master’s wife, 44th wife, day after day. Look at Genesis chapter 39 verse 6. It says his master’s wife looked with desire at Joseph. In other words, his master’s wife lusted after him. And she said, “Lie with me. Sleep with me.” But he did not fall prey to the temptation. Genesis chapter 39 verse 8, it says he refused. He refused. He did not feel any self-importance because someone is in a strange land, in a foreign land, someone is giving him some importance. Now someone is saying that you are that man that I am looking for. But he did not feel

any self-importance, nor did he take any advantage of the opportunity. And she tried to seduce him for quite some time. Genesis chapter 39 verse 10, as she spoke to Joseph day after day after day, he did not listen to her, to lie beside her or go with her. How could he do that? How could he do that? How any self-importance. He was focused on pleasing the Lord. He allowed the fear of God to control his life. The fear of the Lord controlled his heart and his lips. According to the Proverbs, his lips he caught the same. He did not use his words

to flatter, but he used the words to speak wisdom. Look at Genesis chapter 39 verse 9. These are the words: “There is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife.” And he says these words: “How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?” These are the words of wisdom. You’re afraid that you’ll be seen as a holy man if you say that you fear God?

No brother, no sister, that is your calling. To be seen, to be known as a child of God. You do things, you avoid things because you are a child of God. And you need not hide your— Someone will have some image of you. You need to be proud of it. Of your identity as a child of God.

Point number three. The alternative is God’s provision. Marriage is God’s provision. Look at verse 15. “Drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well.” After this stark warning comes one of the scriptures’ most beautiful celebrations of marriage. Solomon uses the metaphor of water and a cistern to describe the exclusive joy and satisfaction found in covenant marriage here. Just as a person would protect their water from contamination, and a husband and a wife are called to guard the purity and exclusivity of their marriage.

“Drink water from your own cistern and fresh water from your own well.” This imagery of water and cistern emphasizes the unique nature of the marriage covenant. It compares sexual desire to thirst, conveying that to quench this thirst, one should seek satisfaction through one’s spouse only.

Sexual intimacy with your spouse is shown as the only truly refreshing water that satisfies you and pleases the Lord. And the writer of Hebrews says in Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4, “marriage bed is the only undefiled bed.” The Bible is clear, we are to rejoice in the wife of your youth, of a youth, and it means rejoice in the wife the Lord gave you when you’re young. It doesn’t mean that wife of your youth, doesn’t mean that, no, your wife should always be young. No, that doesn’t mean that. It’s the wife whom God, you, God gave you when you were young. Is a man that God gave you when you were young. Be with him, be with her, all the days of your life, filling your hearts, your home, with scriptural wisdom, shaping your desires by the scriptures, not by the movies

not by the popular culture around you. Let the desires be shaped by the Word of God, sanctified by the Spirit of God, brother, sister, your marriage will be beautiful. There may be wrinkles on your spouse, but she or he will still be beautiful to you.

There may be fat on his body or fat on his stomach. She is still beautiful. He is still beautiful to you because your desires are not shaped by the popular culture. Your desires are shaped by the Word of God. That’s the problem with Christians today. We are informed by the media. We are consuming a lot from the media and we do not spend time into the scriptures. We hardly spend time studying the scriptures. We hardly inculcate scriptural values into our desires are not shaped by the scriptures. We can spend three hours on a movie but five minutes on the Word of God, so we can say where our desires are coming from, where our expectations are coming from. You shape your life system, your values by

the Word of God, you see a stark difference in your marriage. What Paul says in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verse 2 to 4, 1 Corinthians chapter 7 verses 2 to 4: “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife should to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” So brothers and sisters, husbands and wives do not deprive each other of sexual relations.

God gave sex to enjoy in the bounds of marriage. Just love according to the Proverbs should exhilarate you. Look at verse 20. “Why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner?” The word for adulteress, again, as I mentioned, is a stranger, a strange person. And the word for over-exhilarated here is intoxicated. Be captivated. You should not be captivated by the stranger’s body.

You should not be captivated by the bodies that you see on television. You should not be captivated by them, but you should be captivated by your own spouse. Captivation by a stranger is a deception of sin. God has provided everything necessary for marital happiness and you need to enjoy it within the bonds of marital relationship. The spouse who looks elsewhere demonstrates a lack of faith in God's provision and wisdom.

You know there is a phrase in verse 19. At all times, towards the end, at all times, it suggests that marital faithfulness is part of believer’s sanctification process. And also, learning to find continued delight in one’s spouse requires growth in grace, self-dependence, and dependence on the ongoing work of the Holy Spirit so that you are cherished by your own spouse at all times.

At all times. This challenges the cultural narrative or the popular culture that romantic feelings naturally fade over time. Instead, scripture calls us to actively cultivate and maintain our delight in our spouse as an act of obedience to God and growth in holiness. But what if one is not married?

You may say, “Don’t we have sexual desires?” Yes. How shall one live until one gets married? The Lord will give you grace. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Pursue purity as preparation for marriage and service. The commandment is the same. Flee sexual temptation through accountability and scripture. Trust God’s timing and provision in relationships.

If you can, marry as soon as possible. Don’t wait till you buy a bungalow or a car. No, marry. Just marry. If you can feed your family, if you’re able provide for your family, just get married. That’s it. Point number four, the all-seeing God is watching you, verses 21 to 23. “For the ways of a man are of the Lord, and he watches all his paths. His own iniquities will capture the wicked, and he will be held with the cords of his sin. He will die for lack of instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray.” God is watching us. Our whole lives is under his watching eye.

We are living under the sight of God. We are doing things, we are making decisions while God is watching us. He sees where you are going. He sees whom you are staring at. What we look at. He is watching everything. Nothing is hidden from his sight. You may be flirting with that person in your office or your neighborhood. You may be watching some objectionable material. You think you are getting away every time but God is watching you. You may hide it from your spouse but sin is never hidden before God.

He will bring it out. God’s knowledge is exhaustive and he has a very vivid memory of everything that every person has done or said, saw, thought or did in secret. He will bring it to light. So repent of every sin. Confess your sins to the Lord. Start living by God’s word. Seek the power of the Holy Spirit. True life is discovered through listening to the wisdom from the word and avoiding sin, putting hedges of scriptural principles around you. If we reject instruction, we misguide ourselves onto a path that leads to death and destruction.

Hebrews chapter 13 verse 4. The writer of Hebrews says, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all and the marriage bed is to be undefiled, for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” God will judge you if you are unfaithful. God will judge you. Ephesians 5 verses 22 to 23 shows marriage as a mystery pointing to Christ and his church. Believers find the satisfaction in Christ alone, and husbands are to find their satisfaction in their wives alone, and wives should find their satisfaction in their husbands alone. This exclusivity reflects God’s jealousy for his people’s affections. Just as he will not share his glory, neither should the marriage covenant be shared. Protect your marriages. It’s a call, brothers and sisters, to safeguard our marriages. Few points before I close.

I think number one problem is sin in our heart. We need to continually deal with our sin. And the next thing is self-importance is the problem. When you focus on your problems, your feelings, your wants, and when you don’t get them in your marriage, then you will look elsewhere. Deny yourself. Deny yourself. Fear God, trust God and serve your spouse. Thirdly, recognize this source of wisdom. Do not trust your personal experience, your feelings, or cultural voices. Submit your heart to the Lord’s Word, seeking wisdom in His instruction.

Next, allow your spouse to find his or her joy and satisfaction in you. Understand this as part of God’s design and you should respond to your spouse appropriately with love. Be intentional. Intimacy requires time and effort. Find your satisfaction in your own marriage.

Do not cultivate any emotional bond with the opposite sex. Do not cultivate emotional feelings in the sense that you start sharing your struggles with someone else who is not your husband or your wife. Never look for alternatives to satisfy your sexual desires other than God’s design for sex, that is marriage.

Don’t let your appreciation for your spouse become routine or taken for granted. Actively see your spouse through the eyes of love and gratitude. Be vigilant against anything that would compete with your spouse for romantic affection. Whether other people, pornography or unrealistic expectations fostered by the media.

Recognize that your exclusive devotion to your wife is both a command from God and is a picture of Christ’s exclusive love for his church. And next, be vulnerable with your spouse about your struggles and pray together. We have seen that, brothers and sisters, that we are people with weaknesses. Know that your husband has his own weaknesses, your wife has her own weaknesses, and marriage is strong when husbands and wives share their weaknesses with each other and pray for each other.

God has brought you together. To help each other. To grow in sanctification. And for those who have failed in these areas. Proverbs 5 should drive us to the cross, where Christ bore the penalty for our sins, even our sexual sins, and provides both forgiveness and power for transformation. Our Lord Jesus Christ, he suffered and died on the cross for our sins in our place. He bore our sins in his body and he suffered in our place. God was angry, is angry at all sin, and he was angry at our sin. And our sins were laid on Christ Jesus, and our Father crushed Jesus under his severe wrath, his anger, he crushed him.

It pleased him, it says, Isaiah says, to crush Jesus under his anger. He was crushed for our sins. He died, he shed his blood, he paid, our Lord Jesus paid full penalty for our sins. He paid fully for our pardon. God’s wrath was appeased. Our Lord Jesus died and rose again on the third day victorious over every sin. And if we look to Christ, God will forgive our sins. If we place our trust in the person and the saving work of Jesus Christ, we will be saved. Christ is still our Savior.

who mediates for us. His work is sufficient to deal with every sin. Bring your sins, your struggles to the cross of Jesus Christ. He is sufficient to deal with our sins. He is sufficient to give us grace to overcome anything that is contrary to his will and his holy design.

And the Holy Spirit who indwells us is God Almighty, who enables us, who empowers us with grace to overcome sin, to live in self-control. And unmarried people, guard your marriages, sorry, guard yourselves until you’re married. Guard yourselves until you’re married. Don’t flirt with every boy and every girl out there. Don’t go to these youth groups looking for men and women whom you could a date, you know. Don’t do that. Pray. Look for the biblical qualities. If you find such a one, talk to your parents, or let your parents talk

to that person or their parents or whatever means that you use but get married don't waste your young life God also created us for procreation right and finally parents know this instruction problems five is an instruction from a father to a son parents teach your children about God's design of marriage right from a young age and when they begin to understand sexuality teach them about biblical sexuality do not leave them to schools right or your Sunday school teachers you as a parent should teach your children.

And as a redeemed couple, model faithfulness to your spouse, which is a great example to your children. Children will learn from you. Prepare your children for the moral challenges that they will face in the world, particularly in the area of sexuality. So, in a time when many have moved away from biblical sexual ethics, Proverbs 5 invites us to rediscover the beauty and wisdom of God’s original plan, an exclusive covenant love that mirrors our relationship with Christ and honors our Creator. The decision between the strange woman and the wife of your youth or the spouse of youth ultimately boils down to whether we trust our own judgment or choose to follow God’s wisdom. Having been changed by grace, we can see God’s design for sexuality not as a restrictive burden but as a true path

to joy and fulfillment. Let’s pray. Father, we thank you for your word. Give us grace to trust in your word, to trust in your word, Father. So that our lives are shaped by your word, Father. Thank you, Father. In Jesus Christ’s name we pray. Amen.