Biblical Fatherhood

Good morning, 1NR. I am very happy and excited to be here this morning. Praise God for this opportunity. The topic is Godly Fatherhood. It’s a very big subject, very big topic. Who are fathers? Where do we get that authority from? What kind of fathers we have? What are different types of fathers that we see in the world? And how should we as believers be godly fathers? What are the characteristics that we should have? Different things are there, lots of things, but um what we’ll try to do is we’ll try to see um small bits and pieces focusing on the scripture on this topic. And um I wanted to base this on a scriptural passage. Let’s turn our Bibles to Ephesians chapter 6.

I have 20 pages with me today. Hope we’ll do at least 10. Right. Chapter 6, verse 4. Shall we all read it together? Yes. Ephesians chapter 6. Verse 4. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in discipline and instruction of the Lord.” What is the goal of our parenting?

Why did God give us children? Whom are we raising our kids for? What is the purpose of parenting? What is the philosophy of our parenting? Last week I was speaking on the worldly philosophies from Colossians chapter 2 and Paul addresses Colossians chapter 2 and he says, “not by traditions, not by philosophies.” He’s not talking about different philosophies in the world, not like that. But I was thinking, what is my philosophy in raising my kids? What is the goal of parenting? As we think about this, shall we look to the Lord in prayer and ask for His grace and help?

Father, we thank you for this beautiful day. We are able to gather as family, who are washed in your blood, who are chosen, redeemed, justified, called, adopted to be part of your family. All this by your grace, all this by your goodness and your faithfulness. We thank you. Lord, we see you as our Heavenly Father and we want to reflect, mirror and be like you and see what your calling has to do as Godly Fathers. Fathers who are after your own heart. Speak to us from your word this morning. Holy Spirit God, this is your time. Please speak to me, speak to us. In Jesus’ name we pray.

Amen. Paul is writing to the Ephesians church and first three chapters he talks about doctrines, the basis for Christian living, what God who and chapter 4, 5 and 6 he talks about how we are to live in the light of this truth of who God is and what he has done. And when he comes to chapter 5 verse 18 he’s talking about, “Look carefully when then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making best use of the time,” verse 15, “because the days are evil, therefore do not be foolish but understanding what the will of the Lord is.” And do not be, do not

drunk with wine for that is debauchery, but be filled with the spirit. Then from there he talks about different areas, different aspects, people who are filled with Holy Spirit live in the light of people who are filled with the spirit. What is trying to say is as believers who are filled with the spirit live like this, ABC. Husbands and wives, parents and children, then slaves and masters. We are talking about fathers and children. First he says, “Children, obey your parents,” then he goes on to verse 4 and he says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in discipline and instruction

of the Lord.” If we look at the background of the Ephesians Church, I think you all have done that also, know you all finished role um how a believing husband needs to be, how a believing wife needs to be in last couple of weeks. So we will have uh today more interactive session and I’ll be asking about what you remember from last two weeks. Is that okay? Ask my husband today’s husband. The background in Ephesian church was there was no mutual love, family was in shambles, husband was not responsible for the kids. It was so bad that if a father kills his son, his children, nobody would question him.

There was no law. He would kill his children also. That's how bad it was. When the child is born, he was put at the feet of the father. If he picks him up, he will live. If he doesn't pick him up, then he's gone. He's either taken to the market and raised up into bad things, or if it's a girl raised up into prostitution, bad things. If the child is sick, they would drown the child, kill the child.

Parents were not responsible or love in the family was not visible at all. To that context, in that context, Paul is saying as believers who are bought with the precious blood of Christ, washed in him, chosen in him before the foundations of the earth, who are justified, who are redeemed and now adopted into his family, we live differently. Not as the culture, not as the world, we live differently as people who belong to Christ. That is the background for this and he is saying, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. But bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

This is the background. I just want to do a summary and then go into seven principles that we can draw from this. Paul is starting with the negative command. He says, “Do not provoke your children to anger.” About what provokes our children to anger. Okay, that’s one aspect. Second, positive command that Paul is saying is teach and train them in the instruction of the Lord. Teach and train your children in the instruction of the Lord. That is the positive command to the fathers. Both of these words bring them up. When Paul is saying bring them up, the meaning that is there is to nourish and cause them to grow.

Paul is saying bring up your children the meaning there is to nourish and make them grow that's the meaning and when he says through training and admonition the words used there are instruction and chastisement both of them have teaching and discipline involved in those words the meanings of those words so let us remember this as the background the canvas that we are going to see what this scripture is going to talk to us. Okay. And even as we go, let us remember some things as we lay the foundation, theological basis to understand Godly fatherhood. What are some of the things you think our heavenly father as a father, he does for us?

Can you say anything from the scriptures? What the heavenly father does for his children? Provides, okay. Disciplines, okay. Because we are talking about discipline. Okay, he loves us, okay. Sorry? Teaches, very good. Yes, teaches, yes. Protects, very good, okay, yes. Heavenly Father does for his children, okay. What does he do?

Forgives. Yes. Anything else? Sorry. What else? Sent his son for us to die on the cross. Very good. Very good. Okay. That talks about his love, sacrifice, generosity, his kindness, grace, amazing things. Anything else or we can go forward. We are created by God with fatherly care, made in his image to bear his image. Let us remember that. And fatherhood was one of the first things that gave man as a job. Immediately after he created Adam and Eve, God commanded them to be fruitful and multiply. Genesis 1 verse 28. One of the primary purposes of marriage is offspring who will fill the earth with God's praise and glory.

God shares his title with me. What's the title? Father. God shares his title with me. I have to discipline my children. Children are not saved by sitting with you in the church or behaving good in the church or in public. It's their hearts that you reach for. And God is calling us to be fathers after his own heart.

Reaching for their hearts is one of the key words that we will be using today. We are called to reach for the hearts of our children. Okay, let's look at seven qualities of a godly father. First one, godly fathers know their heavenly father and obey his mandate. I will repeat that again. Godly fathers know their heavenly father and obey his mandate. You cannot be a godly father without knowing your heavenly father or the heart of your heavenly father. He is the role model for us fathers and we as earthly fathers draw our mandate, command, authority, responsibility, character, strength, wisdom from this Heavenly Father.

So as fathers here, do you know this God, our Heavenly Father, as your own personal Heavenly Father? Again I want to remind who gave his life for us, you, he chose you, he saves you, he is working on you to make you like his son, redeemed you, justified you, adopted you, filled you with his spirit and he disciplines you. He is gracious, caring and forgiving. As godly fathers, how is my relationship with my Heavenly Father? How is my time with my Heavenly Father? Without me spending time with my Heavenly Father, learning about his heart, knowing who he is, how he acts, how he is dealing with me as a father, I cannot, unless I know and I'm relationship with him, I cannot be

a godly father or a father who is after his own heart as in the scriptures. I do I spend enough time with my father, reading his word, spending time in prayer, fellowship with him, talking about him? Do we know and strive to live like our heavenly father and obey him? How is our relationship with our father? That's the question.

If we as fathers don't consider obedience to God as something important, if I'm not thinking obedience to God is important or if I'm taking that lightly or if I'm neglecting obedience to my Heavenly Father, how will I talk about obedience to my children?

So Godly father begins with his own heart. He considers his relationship with God as priority, foundation, most important thing in his life and models his godliness for his children. So summarizing this, what I'm saying is Godly father has relationship with his heavenly father and based on that, building on that foundation only you can be a Godly. Without relationship with God, daily, consistent, intimate relationship with the Father, we cannot be godly fathers. Maybe we will learn some principles, maybe we will try to do some things, or put a Christian structure for our children to live by. But that will not suffice for us to bring them up as fathers who are responsible.

Can you give me any good examples of good fathers in the Bible? Bad fathers is lots of examples. We all know that. It was very difficult for me to find good fathers. Good exemplary fathers in the Bible. Sorry? Abraham. Boaz, okay. Abraham, okay. Yes.

Sorry? Moses. Moses. Parents of Moses, you said. Okay. Job. Who said Job? What was with Job? One point, can you show some light there? He offered sacrifices for his children, thinking they partied all night, maybe they might have sinned against God or thought bad about God or anything, let's sacrifice for them. That's very good. You have to read Job's life and you will see his convictions, his doctrine, his theology is so beautiful, so powerful. All the three wise men that were there, his friends, three or four? Three, four? Including Job. Okay, let's leave that, that's not it.

They sound so convincing, their theology sounds so shock proof or mistake proof or whatever you say, it is so solid, but Job is like, “I know my God, I know my God, I know what I did, I know did not do. I know how God deals with me. My suffering, my pain is not because of the sins that I did. I know him.” And that's how he was bringing up his children. That's a good example. Okay, one last one. Sorry? Prodigal son's father. Okay, that's our Heavenly Father. Okay, very good. Anything else? Anybody said Joseph, okay, okay, we will think about Joseph.

Joshua is another father. What does he say? Why did he say Joshua? “As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.” These are some examples that we find in the Bible who are good and we have to think about those things. So first point, do you know this heavenly father? Do you have active intimate relationship with him? This is the first thing.

Fathers again, fathering, being a father or raising up children in the fear of the Lord, based on the word of God, with the power of the Holy Spirit, with his strength and wisdom. Done. It's a very big responsibility. You don't do anything, your children will grow up, don't worry about it. And some of us know already, you don't have to do anything, they'll grow up. I mean, not much big difference. But are we living by the word of God, his commandments, his mandate for us as fathers? Are we living by that? To live like that, my relationship with my father is very important. And fathers, this is a challenge. If we are having a very good relationship with our Heavenly Father, very good, but if not, I think, I think we should come back to God and

say, Father, I didn't have a good father, or I had best father in the world, or I didn't have good relationship with my father, my father didn't spend time with me, or he didn't express him himself or his heart or anything, he was not bothered about me, but I want to know you, I want to spend time with you. My father was very good, I also want to experience you, who you are. Maybe that's a first thing you have to see as Godly Fathers. Second one, Godly Fathers, love your wives. Yes, husbands. Okay, now question and answer time. Last, before that, last people before last week. Yes. Grandfather's, love your wives. How do I put this? Husbands, how do you show your love to your wives? Yes, please answer. Start. Be careful, you are sitting beside. Okay.

Okay, yes, how do you show your love to your wife? Safest answer, good one, thanks. Yes, expressing. I believe communication is very, very important in marriage. Very good. Opening your mouth, express you're happy, you're joyful, you're upset, you're angry, express, right? Okay, next. Caring, caring for them. Caring, very good, yes, yes, very good.

You are talking about caring for your husband, right? Okay, that's very sweet. Husband caring for them. Oh, husband should care, yes, yes, yes, right, okay, husbands care for you. What are some of the ways that we show care towards our wives? How do we show care? Sacrificing for them. Sacrificing for them what, bro? Showing them.

Acts of kindness. Very good. Okay. And the example please. Appreciate. Super. Yes. Very good. Okay. Anything else? How many husbands appreciated your wife this morning? Okay. Good. Very good. Very nice. You should do that. Okay. Right. Yes. What else? How do you show your love towards your wives? Understand her. Very good. Okay. Yes. Listening.

Who said that? Okay. Yes. Very good. Yes. Listening. Amma doesn't listen to you. Sorry. Let's go. Okay. Anything else? Anything else? How do you show your love towards your wives? Gifts. Yes. Okay. What? How many married men here, can I see your hands? Dion, you have to do that lesson again. Yes, anybody last? Washington is the waterfront of the world. Yes, Dubai is the market.

That's good, man. Most of the marriages have struggles and difficulties, all of us, but one of the reasons is because we do not decide to advise which may not corporate. Any godly father loves and honors his wife. It has been said that the best gift you can give to your children is love your wives. That's the best gift, because when children grow up watching healthy, loving interactions between fathers and mothers, they naturally seek to imitate that in their own marriages, and children grow up in a very secure and healthy atmosphere when they see their mother and father loving each other, forgiving each other, praising one another, understanding one another, caring for one another. When children see that, they grow

up in a very secure, confident, encouraged atmosphere. Okay? Love your wives genuinely, wholeheartedly, be possessive, be caring, helpful, romantic, thoughtful. When children see, they grow in secure and healthy atmosphere. Sadly, children often do not see their fathers and mothers loving each other, caring, not many, some of the parents.

They see constant fighting, yelling at each other, disrespect. What happens is when children grow in this atmosphere, they grow in fear, there's lots of insecurity, they grow up in anxiety. And let's remember, Godly Fathers, love your wives, help them in daily work, take care of their needs, be mindful of their needs, patiently bear with them in an understanding, in an understanding way. Okay? Right. Disciple your wives, teach them the Word of God's plan for the families. You cannot expect her to behave, love or change or do things the way you want unless you model Christ and disciple on a day-to-day basis, exemplary life. Right. Many fathers neglect, ignore, disrespect, treat their wives badly and children

learn the same. They will do the same. Boys will do like father, how he treats his wife. Same girls, they do Xerox copy like their mothers. You don't have to see your mother-in-law. I'm sorry. I have seen so many, so many, so many, so many people, so many families.

They just are imitating what they saw in their families, even boys. Do your children see and know you love and respect your wife? Do your children see that in your family? Do they see you love and respect your wife? This is the question. We are not talking about wife, we are talking about fathers today. So, first one, what's the first one?

Godly fathers? Knows his Heavenly Father. Second one? Godly father? Loves and honours his wife. Third one? Godly fathers, you are a role model. Godly fathers, you are a role model. I want to put a star there. Fathers, you are role models. With a star, what's the condition? Conditions of life. Even if you did not have a role model in your life, even if your father was not a perfect example for you, still you are called to be a role model.

I want to talk about my friend, one of my friends, he is a pastor's kid. Ben Beecher, big church. He had two kids. He was so busy with the church, Sunday after Sunday, meetings every day through the week, he wouldn't have time for the children. Mother would take care of the children. But I never saw — very close to me, very close to me, half of the time I lived in the house — I never saw the father sitting with the kids and spending time with them, never playing with them, or leave alone playing, whatever, teaching them, talking to them, never, never.

Fast forward 30 years, I am still friends with that boy. He goes to office at 5 am in the morning, comes back at 6 pm in the evening. He doesn't have time for his kids. After he comes, he refreshes, has chai, then watches TV for some time, does housework, has his dinner, goes to bed.

Doesn't have time for his children, doesn't talk to them, open conversations, nothing, no playtime with them, not teaching them. In any way, father doesn't have time for his children. And I had an opportunity to be with them for some time. I would play with the kids and all that. And one of the run around the house, wrestle and play.

He said, which brought tears into my eyes, he said, “I wish you were my dad.” I didn't do anything, I didn't teach them Bible verses, nothing, just played with them and I thought, “I wish you were my dad,” that's what he said. That brought tears to my eyes. Then I had to explain about his dad and how hard he is working. He loves them and that.

Right, okay. What are the different types of fathers that you see around you? Different types of fathers? Sorry? Absent. Absent. Okay, absentee father. Right, anything else? Sorry? Hardworking father. Okay. Come on, please talk. Hardworking father. Yeah, you're right. Hardly working father. And I have seen that example. I have an example. Fathers who are lazy or fathers who do not work, who don't set an example as men who work hard for the family, for the children and all that. Their children become like that, especially boys, they become lazy, they don't do anything, like. Okay. Right. What are the dangers of having an absentee father? Any thoughts? If your father is not there, if he is absent, what are some of the things? Okay, outside influence, very good, because father is not there, anybody

and everybody will influence you everybody in the world will teach you your children but the fire okay fear of abandonment vulnerable low self-esteem anxiety jealousy they are possessive they become promiscuous skepticism towards men this is about how girls grow okay what happens to the boys decreased communication ability decreased cognitive ability relational and mental health, sexual health, addictions, they are trying to find approval from adults, search for father figures they get into all kinds of wrong things when the father is absent so many researches have been done, when a father is absent what happens to the children what I mean by saying absent is, maybe

you are present in the house but you are not involved in the lives of the children. Absent can be two ways. He is totally absent or he is passive in the house. Irresponsible father. Delegating father. I made up that word. He delegates all his responsibilities to his wife.

I go get the money, you do rest of the things. That’s what I didn’t put. Quote, boss father, listen to me, do as I say, no talking back, no disobedience, only discipline. Some fathers are very emotional and manipulative towards their wives and children. All the time emotional blackmail and very manipulative. They know, wife knows, children also know you are being very emotionally manipulative.

That’s a very dangerous atmosphere for wife and kids. Careless fathers, lazy fathers, we are done. Clueless fathers. What’s your daughter studying? Ah, Amma, what is Shiva studying now? Ah, 9th class brother. Ah, right, okay. Ah, sorry. Times D on 10th class. Shiva is…

I shouldn’t have said that. Indulgent father. I didn’t have anything in my childhood. I grew up very poorly. Now I want everything for my children. I’ll give everything. They should not see what I saw in my childhood, what I went through. I want them to have everything in their lives. All they have to say is open their mouth.

Sometimes we don’t know their hearts desires and provide for them. You are only indulging your children but not teaching them, training them, recycling them. Addictions, some of the parents are addicted to drugs, alcohol, pornography. Environment in the house becomes very insecure, lots of fear and depression.

And parents who are addicted and children see this alcohol or substance abuse anything when children see this they grow up. I know a family a father who had a very good government job. He was in railways two children. He was addicted to alcohol very much morning and evening he would be done. Wife was a godly woman very prayerful but his son saw him getting drunk all the time. And sometime later his father passed away. This boy got the job. Sadly, he got addicted to alcohol. He got married. His wife and children left him. He lost his job. He is on the roads.

Remember that we are role models for our children. They are watching us. How fathers walk, talk and behave. Children do the same, like father like son, that’s why let’s turn to Deuteronomy 6 chapter 6 verse 6 and 7. Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 6 and 7. He says, “And these words which I am commanding you today shall be on your heart, and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit down in your house, when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” After coming out of Egypt God is giving all the commandments, and then he’s saying to Moses, these words that I have said now to you, put them

in your hearts first. That is for the parents, that is for the fathers. Have these commands, this word of God, in your heart first. Your role models. You know, you live, you experience, you obey, and then teach yourself as role models. We are called to obey and follow the word of God in our lives.

First follow, obey first, live first, walk what you preach first, that is what fathers are called to do. As fathers let us be role models for our children, show them how to become godly men, how godly men behave towards their wives, how godly men behave towards children, how godly men behave in the church and in the society.

Dads may not realize it, but everything they do is influencing your children. Everything you do, they are influenced by. Few examples. Church is important, so you go, but I am staying at home. Fathers. These are old examples, okay. I heard this when I was young.

me, but you tell the person on the phone that I am not — I'm not here. I'm not here. Okay. Just cussed out our neighbor, but if I hear you say any bad words, you are going to get it. Stay away from drugs, alcohol, sex. Now bring me a beer and my cigarettes. How are we being role models? To watch a little bit, not so bad, we and all we want to do. But how are we modeling our lives to our children? How are we modeling our lives? Do we convey our wonder and joy in God to our children?

My joy, my relationship with God, my trust in Him, my experience of relationship with God, the reality of God's power and grace. Do I show holiness? When I model this for my children, I make Jesus more attractive. I want to repeat this again. It is God's work who will save my children, who will open their hearts for gospel. It is God's work. But he put parents, he put fathers there to till the soil of their hearts, to prepare the soil. And he's calling us to teach them, train them, discipline them. Mothers have a role. Definitely, they have a role in all this. You stand with your husband in all this, even as he does his responsibilities — relationship with God, relationship with his wife, and setting a role model for the children. Make more Jesus attractive to your boys and girls. Let us see the light

of Jesus in your... Do your children see, let me put it this way, how you handle struggles? Your children see you right? When you are going through struggles or hard times, do your children see? How do you handle struggles, problems, temptations? How do we handle criticism? How do we handle anger?

handle helplessness? Do your children see your dependence on God? Do your children see you running to God, or do your children see you going to people? Do your children see and know God is alive in your life, that he is? Oh, we have to be very careful. Do my children see God alive in my life as a father? Do you show trust in God to your children? Do you talk to him, live like him, obey him, for your children to see your heavenly father? This is a mandate for us. This is not an option. There is no other way. We cannot play around this. God

is calling us to be responsible fathers who bring influence in the lives of their children. You lead them from worldliness, you lead them away from worldliness. You lead the family, you are the champion of your wife. You lead them to know Christ. That is what fathers are called. You are setting a model.

You are setting a model can we read proverbs 17 6 please can one of us read proverbs 76 loudly proverbs 17 6. yes And the glory of the sons is their father's. Can you tell one good thing that you saw in your fathers? One good thing that you saw in your fathers?

Yes. I wanted to ask one thing you wanted to see change in your fathers also. But if you don't feel it's okay, but let's talk positive first. One thing that you saw was very good in your fathers. Yes. Daily devotions. He did for himself or for the family. His time with the Lord, you are saying. Very good. Okay. David, yours. Okay. Anything else?

Very possessive. Very good. Okay. Fear. Fear of the Lord. Okay. Humbleness. Yes. Okay. Leading the family. Okay. Anything else? Teaching the word of God. Teaching the word of God to the children. Good. Okay. Yes. Yes. Sorry. Man of integrity. Okay. Man of integrity. Okay. Somebody said something. He was very good disciplinary. Very good. Okay. Anything else?

Okay, if anybody would like to share anything that you wanted to see change in your father, you can say. I want to start off. My father died when I was two, less than two I think. I don't remember my father at all. No role models in my life. Never had the love, the compassion or the manly behind, nothing. No examples to follow.

I don’t remember him in fact. So I had a very bad missing. I would always cry. I would always look to some mature people trying to find fatherly figure in them and things like that. But God in his grace, God in his grace, there is hope, God in his grace touched my life. And he became a father too.

I wanted to say that because regardless of one pastor says like this, one author says like this, regardless of man’s past or his own parentage, he has the potential to be godly father, no matter how your father was, no matter if you have role models or not, it doesn’t matter. Your relationship with God now matters.

There is hope to become their godly father. Right, okay. Let’s remember. Godly man knows his heavenly father. Godly man loves and honors his wife. Godly fathers, your role models. Godly fathers, fourth one. Build a relationship of love and trust with their children. We will go a little faster.

Godly father builds a relationship of love and trust with his children. You don’t see this biblically anywhere in the sense that play with your children, all this like this. But you see God’s love for his children. At some of the things I wanted to address love and trust with your children, because Paul says in chapter 6 verse 4, “Do not provoke your children to anger.” That is the context, that is where we are drawing this point from. So what are the some of the ways that your children are provoked to anger? What are some of the things that provoke them to anger, that make them angry? When you don’t buy chocolate — I’m not saying those things, different. Apart from that, what makes them angry? Unhealthy comparison, yes, very good. Don’t compare siblings, don’t compare people in the school. Look at her, look at

her report card, look at the way she’s studying, look at the way she looks, look at the way her handwriting is, her place, how she plays. Comparison, okay. No unhealthy comparison. Yes, anything else? Some things that you faced in your childhood, what would you hate? Inconsistency in commands, in this discipline, yeah

Yeah, ah, right, very good, yeah. Some discipline is very important, it should be consistent in your, apparently if your son steals something you slapped him today, tomorrow if he steals something you slap him again, spank him again, spank him again. Okay, that time he steals you are a, let it be. If you let him go he knows you’re okay with it and he will do it. Consistency in discipline is very important. We’ll come. Anything else?

Harsh? Okay, criticism, harshness, rudeness, sarcasm, let’s all put it in one box. Okay? No appreciation. So what happens when this happens? They learn to condemn themselves. They have very low self esteem. Okay? And they learn to doubt their own judgment. Is this right? Will it be okay if I do this? Should I do this or not? Because they grew up in an atmosphere where everything they did was criticized or questioned or doubted.

He learns to live continually in expectation of impending doom. What will they say? What will they do? Will they scold me? Will I get correction for this if I do this? You understand, my friends? Criticism is very dangerous. Anything else? Let’s go. Unrealistic goals, setting unrealistic goals. Children cannot do that, so they get upset about it. Okay. Failing to show affection, failing to show affection. Lack of standards. One day, as he was saying, one day you say this, next day you say that, they are confused whether to do or not. Hypocrisy. You tell them to do what I tell you, not what I

do. Don’t do what I do. Do what I tell you. Physical abuse. I saw one father. He was son of a widow and she was desperate to bring children up. So when that son disobeyed or did anything she would spank, not spank, beat him black and blue. Whatever she would find, bend, stick, anything, hit very badly. Sometimes she would put chili powder also in the eyes, make them sit, the child in the sun. That’s how bad it was. Okay, and it was common. Okay, this was not, no, this was common in our days back in 1960.

Now imagine him growing up. He is a father to boys and as soon as he comes home his wife complains about his children to him. He is frustrated about work, his own life, his wife, different things, work, prison and all that. How does he discipline his children?

the only way he knows to discipline is beat them, bash them you should see him bash his children beat his children, mute his kids and he doesn't till today because that's what he saw in his life, physical abuse, emotional abuse conditional love, you know conditional love if you are good I will love you if you are bad no emotional abuse physical abuse sometimes sexual abuse happens in families which is which ruins the lives of children especially when parents are in your space that many children go through that they should not go through that neglect your children David, neglected, Absalom, comes

back and says I want to meet my father. David doesn't go, doesn't give him time. Joab tries to intervene. When he does something very serious, then Joab comes and meets him. He doesn't want to meet him. Right, Godly father loves his children, spends time with him and builds trust relationship. How can you show love to your children?

we show love to our children yes your time spend time with them psychologists say the spelling of love for children is T I M E right spelling of love for children is T I M E fathers spend time with your children there was the research done in US and it is said that in a normal family a father would spend less than 20 minutes with his child less than 20 minutes with his child I'm not saying watching TV eating together not that one-on-one face to face sitting and talking laughing playing all those things less than 20 minutes and I was shocked

when I looked at my own life and I said I want to see how much time I spend with my daughters. I was surprised, shocked in that. I thought I was spending a lot of time but when I really took the slots and saw, I was not spending much time. Fathers spend time with their children.

They might love the gifts that you give but the best thing they enjoy is you. They enjoy you. Your presence. That means a lot to them. Love unconditionally. Spend time. That is be available. Hug your children often. How many of you hug your children today?

Just one. Kiss your children often. Fathers please kiss your children. Kiss your daughters. It's okay. It's holy. Kiss your daughters. I might two of my daughters are in girls school St. Ann's, Tarnaka I'm ready to drop them I see so many fathers you know when before the girls get off the bike they're going into the school they stop and give a kiss to the heart or father pulls them and gives them a kiss I feel so happy so happy seeing that fathers, you need to express your love to your daughters. Hug them, give them a kiss. You should see my daughter, Shiva.

I am like, stop Shiva, stop! You have to stop now! And when she is busy studying, I go give her a hug, give her a kiss on her cheek. And I say, “I love you.” We are called to do that, fathers. They don't know any other males in the world. They don't have relationships. and shills you are the only male in their life till they come to certain age and then they need your touch they need your love healthy they grow up healthy that way as burly man kiss your children often right work together do some things together they have a school project do it together

you're doing something on the bike in the car just let them stand around ask for a screwdriver or something this level when I'm doing something Shiva comes or Sachi comes along I said she wants to do something Sachi wants to do something I say okay give me that she feels so happy she feels so proud I'm helping my father I'm doing something and I really appreciate what she does and appreciate them often find them doing something good appreciate it's easy to find them doing something very bad nasty not useful those things are very visible to us easy to find they

do such even if it's a small thing appreciate it Say I love you to them. Talk to your children. Listen to their stories. I have seen fathers who as soon as children come and want to say something, they say, what do they say? Whoever gives the right answer, I will buy you a chocolate.

Men be careful. Okay, right answer. As soon as children come to them they want to share something talk something what do men say then who said that correct same dude go to work go to mom go to mom I am busy go to mommy go to mommy no listen to your children they need their fathers to hear them out put your things aside then you will die working that's okay but this moments these moments one day I was watching my phone doing something and Sachi came and she wanted to say something and I was like ah okay my wife was there Shiva was also there all three of them

and I was watching Sachi said something I said aha Rebecca said, what did she say? And I looked up and I’m like, oh, what did he say? Sachi, what did he say? No, that’s not active listening. Listen to your children. When you listen to them, they know that Heavenly Father listens to them. You are modeling life for them. This is not something, hugging them, playing with them, listening to them, appreciating them, saying “I love you.”

motivational things, okay? These are actions that show we love them in a tangible way and point them to Jesus. We are reaching for their heart, showing them this is how the Heavenly Father is. He’s not somebody aloof, he’s not somebody who’s far away, he’s not somebody for you to meet him, talk to him, you have to do so many things, good things. No, no. You’re modeling father to him. Give your hearts to your children so that they can give their heart to you so that you can give it to Jesus.

Give your hearts to your children. Spend time with them. Our affection, our approval, our involvement, our time. There will be distractions but we need to give all these to our children. Question, do you show love to your children? Do you prioritize them? from God.

Men, remember this. You have your jobs, I agree. You have lots of passions that draw you away from your family and your children and they will always be there. But children are gift from God and it is His command that we teach them and train them. In works we love them.

Fifth one, Godly fathers disciple their children. This is the focus of this message. Godly fathers disciple their children. A false idea in the past was you take care of God’s business and God will take care of your family. And there are many stories in which pastors, God servants, missionaries, they wouldn’t have time for their children, wife or children. They had time for the whole church, all the families in the church, all the children in the church. Pastor had time for everyone, but he did not have time for his own wife and children. These are called pastor’s kids, PK. They are special place. These are most downtrodden, you can use all those words for that.

Okay, very sad, very sad. And you have maybe you have seen some of them turn very bad pocket in their lives. Godly Fathers disciple your children, teaching them and training them, that is where we are now. Again, Voddie Baucham, he is a very good teacher on parenting. He says one of his sermons, he says like this, he’s quoting another author by name Manton. He says, “family is the seminary of both church and the state.” A home is the place where leaders for the church are forged. In fact, man is to be examined for leadership in the church by first looking at his track record of leadership in the house, how he is as a man, how he is as a father in the house. It’s a man’s leadership in house that is foundational to determining whether or not he is even qualified to be in leadership among God’s people.

This is very crucial. Godly leaders are forged in the family. Godly men are forged in the, they are made in the family and father has a very important role, discipling your children. Someone observed that church is always just one generation away from extinction. Church is always away from one generation. If you don’t teach this generation, your children, in the word of God, bringing them up in the word of God and in the faith and in the teachings, a generation is lost. Like we read in Judges, after this there was a generation who did not know the Lord and they did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and they did what was pleasing to them, see what was good in their own eyes. Only one generation away. This generation, fathers, it’s our responsibility, our God-given

mandate to teach and train our children in the word of God, not just bringing to them to church on Sunday. No. That’s only a small part of discipleship that happens. There’s a big thing that needs to happen behind it. Bill Gothard, he is the founder of the Institute of Basic Life Principles, he said, “We have weak churches today because we have weak families.”

“We have weak families because we have weak husbands and weak fathers. We have weak husbands and weak fathers because they have not been taught basic biblical principles.” Again, it comes back to your relationship with the Lord. Father, how is your relationship with your heavenly Father so that you can teach, disciple your own children?

Okay, discipling children. What should we teach our children? Your time. What should we teach our children? God’s faithfulness. Okay. Word of God. Yes. Obedience. Yes. Good manners. Yes. Godly character. Yes. Yes? Let’s turn to Psalm 78. Psalm 78, 2 to 8. It’s a beautiful passage. I came across this recently, Psalms 78. It’s about telling the coming generation of it. He says we are there. Shall we read it together? “I will open my mouth in a parable.”

“I will utter dark sayings of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord and his might and the wonders that he has done. He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.”

And that they should not be like their stubborn and rebellious generation. A generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God. Teach great things of God, who God is, what he has done, what he has spoken. This all comes back to the question, whom are we raising our children for? What’s the purpose of our parenting? What’s the purpose of our parenting? Joel Beeke in Family Worship, he says like this, “Fathers and mothers must teach future generations the things of God so that they might know the Lord, repent of sin, believe the gospel and obey his commands.”

Shall we turn to Genesis 18th chapter verse 19. Genesis chapter 18 verse 19. 18 verse 19. Genesis 18 verse 19. It’s talking about Abraham here. It says, we all are there? Yes? Shall we read it together? Yes. “For I have chosen him,” he’s talking about Abraham, “that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.” God has chosen Abraham that he may command his children, teach his children and household after him to keep the way of the Lord, that by obeying God, God would bring to pass what he has promised him.

Abraham. Let’s turn to Deuteronomy 6 chapter 6 verses 4 onwards, 4 to 9. We all are there? Yes? Shall we read. “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your soul, with all your mind. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise.”

“You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the and your gates.” God is saying, have these commandments in your heart and teach them to your children. When should you teach to your children? When, Sunday to Sunday? No. When you walk, when you sit, when you rise, all the time. Teach your children about God, the word of God.

We did a seminar on Islam last week and brother James did a session, very encouraging. In that context, all Muslim children by the age of 12, most of the Muslim children by the age of 12, it is mandatory that they memorize Quran. They go to something called madrasa or the mosque near their house.

And all these children are taught that Jesus is not God, He did not die, He did not rise again from the dead, from childhood. This is what the world is teaching. And now you have Gurukuls, schools of religious teaching of other faiths. They are teaching their children their faiths. So if somebody in my daughter’s school, if they ask her or say to her, “Jesus is not God,” how would she respond?

Are we teaching our children the word of God? Who God is? What he has done? Or if my daughter is in a place where she has to make a choice between right and wrong, between black and white, what would be the basis for her to make that choice? Would it be the word of God?

What should we teach our children? Okay, our time. What should we teach our children? How should we disciple them? Yes, oh we need that part. Okay, let’s go. Pray with your children. Fathers, pray with your children. Sit and read Bible and teach your children. We have family prayer in the house every day and we are trying to follow a book by Kevin DeYoung, I think. We do a small story every day, teaching our children. Do we do that regularly? No, we miss it sometimes. I miss it. I fail. I miss sometimes. But we try to do that as and how it is possible.

Sing a song and pray every day. Pray with your children, teach your children, read the Bible with your children. Preach the Gospel to your children. Parents, the first time a child hears the Gospel, it needs to be from the parents, from the father. Fathers, preach the Gospel to your children. Share how big your God is, what mighty things He has done. Especially in Christ, through Christ, on the cross, His resurrection and the transformed life.

Teach your children that God is real and active in the world. Let them see the world as God sees, how he is passionate about people and how he wants them to come to Jesus. Let them see that. Have daily devotions and share from your devotions. You might say, some fathers they say, “I’m not a good teacher. I’m not gifted. My wife is a teacher. She’s trained. She’s a good teacher. She can do a better job than me.” No, no, fathers, it’s your primary responsibility. God is not looking for trained teachers to train your children.

He’s seeing your availability. In all your imperfections, with all your imperfections and weaknesses, as you’re learning, you’re growing in the Lord, teach your children. That’s not an option. Teach your children, disciple your children. Talk about missionary stories. Go on mission trips with your family.

Pray regularly for the missions and the lost. Follow a reading plan. Age appropriate. In all this age appropriate. Or I would say teach catechism also. In our church we did this book I think I told last time. We did a book on catechism. Whole church was encouraged to learn and teach their children. And they all did surprisingly. Three months time they all learnt 129 questions and answers. They had a test and all of them wrote the exam. Shifa and Sachi also learnt catechism. They learnt a lot from that. Teach catechism to your children. Family prayer is very important. Fathers, call the family to family altar.

Your responsibility. Sometimes your wife might be tired, she might not be encouraged to come, or children might not be. This is something new that you want to start or you are already doing but discouraged. But again, let’s go on our knees, trust in God, ask God’s help, learn, teach and then come sit as a family for prayer.

Whatever the children learn, they learn more from family devotions. They remember that on a day to day basis. That's very important. Family devotions are very important. Read the word of God, say a prayer, thanksgiving and sing God's praise and have a memory verse. That way they learn the scriptures.

And I want to give a caution, a start here again. Your life when you’re doing this, and if you’re missing something, say sorry. Be humble enough to say sorry, ask forgiveness, wife and children. Okay, that’s important. Fathers, teach your children. Don’t delegate this to your wife. You are the primary teacher in the family, because when you leave for work your wife spends a lot of time teaching and training them, which is very good. You primarily teach the word of God to your children.

Are you discipling your children? Fathers, teach your children the whole word of God, sound doctrines, showing them Christ’s love. If I teach sound doctrines to the whole world and show the love of Christ to the people around me, everybody, but if I miss out on my children, not teaching them the word of God, it’s a sin. It is disobedience to the word of God.

Are we discipling our children, teaching them the word of God, being an example? Or are we giving examples? The application question I wanted, this is very heavy on my heart, is how will I see, how will we see Calvins? How will we see Edwards in the church? How will we see? Where will they come from?

Where will they come from? Fathers, it’s us we teach our children the word of God, introduce them to Jesus. When God opens their heart in his grace and we train them in the word of God, they become Godly men who are rooted in the word of God.

Are we discipling our children? Last one. Godly fathers bring up their children in fair and loving discipline. Do you know bad examples of discipline in the Bible? Parents who did not discipline their children? Yes, your time. Eli and sons. Yes. What are the names of Eli’s sons? Hophni and Phinehas. Very good. Okay. Yes. Any other examples?

Manoah. Manoah. Manoah. Okay. Next. Samson’s parents. Okay. Don’t do that dear. Don’t do that. Okay. Yes. Sorry. Eli. One next. Samson’s parents. David. Yes. David. Yes. Anybody else? and list of names which we had more time only on discipline to do one session but we have run Eli’s sons, Hophni, Phinehas, Absalom that is David, Adonijah one example of David is Adonijah. David never said anything to him, Scripture says he never said, “Why you did like this,” because he did not want to displease his son. David did not want to displease his son or hurt him so to say and he would never correct him.

I was like that for some time. I would never correct children because I didn’t want them to get emotionally hurt or feel bad or discouraged. I didn’t know that correction is part of love. Children will know you love them if you correct them. They will know you hate them if you don’t correct them. Remember.

Samuel’s sons, King Jehoshaphat’s son, Hezekiah, his son Manasseh, because they didn’t have time to win the hearts of their children. David failed. He never invested his time or oversight on his children. Godly man, big spiritual giant, David Hensel for the proper conduct. Of course this ruin or destruction or bad things don’t happen suddenly they happen small incidents event by events that’s how children grow up you ignore you neglect you don’t correct you don’t discipline consistently these things happen and why do we have to discipline?

We discipline because children have sin in their hearts. We discipline because we want to deal with the sin issue in the hearts of children. Two areas, internal sin and external sin. We already have sinful nature, children already have sinful nature in their hearts and when they see sin they become vulnerable. They are attracted to sin, they sin, they fall into sin. We are attracted to sin.

We have a newborn baby, she’s three months old, she’s an angel. She said no, she is a sinner. Children are beautiful, very cute, very cute. But we have to know that they are sinners. They need Christ, they need the Gospel. And to bring light and to bring them into knowing God and His love and His work, we discipline our children. We are dealing with the root problem of sin. The gravest threat for children is not some physical mishap or some trouble or some problem. But because of the sin in their hearts. That’s the biggest threat for your children. You’ll see jealousy.

You’ll see anger. You’ll see gossip. You’ll see so much hatred in siblings, among siblings. When I see two of my daughters, they are also like that. My children. Sometimes I get scared when they fight. Both of them. When they are looking at each other with all that passion, anger and they both are over a doll, over a pillowcase. Or my elder daughter took a chicken piece from the younger one’s plate. The whole sinful nature is out. And I get scared. I am like, where did you see this? How did you learn?

I am saying, we all are born with that nature. And our children have that. For them to learn holiness, the word of God, the commandments of God, discipline is needed. Two areas of discipline, one is physical reproof and second is verbal reproof. I am skipping a lot of things but I am just saying, Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things.” So when we are reaching for the heart, we deal with the heart. As parents, God is calling us to discipline our children. One example. Again a widow her husband died she was raising three children and she was scared of or worried about correcting those children disciplining those children She would never allow others also to discipline them or seriously correct them She would fight with everybody who would try to teach them the right things because she always

wanted to show love towards the children forward all three of them are grown up two of them don’t have jobs failed marriages third one failed marriage none of the three are in the Lord they don’t go to church none of the three this is from a Christian family because there was nobody to discipline teach them train them to walk in the way of the Lord. Godly father disciplines his children appropriately. We discipline because our heavenly father disciplines us. Hebrews 12:9 and 10.

Because of his love he disciplines us. Okay. Teach your children immediate obedience no matter what, whatever age, even if you lost some time, it’s okay start now. Teach your children immediate obedience. Delayed obedience is disobedience. immediate obedience I see so many fathers they keep telling them teaching them but children ignore them and they run here and here and there they’re not obedient to their father teaching their children immediate obedience right exercise self-control when you discipline your children not in your anger I am a very I was a very bad example of a father who disciplines children. I didn’t have self-control.

If I was upset, I would beat children very badly. Very badly. I would bring out my frustration on them. This was 20 years ago. So, but when I learnt about the Father heart of God, how He disciplines us, I learnt a lot of things. You discipline children or spank children not to show your anger but to bring change this not to hurt them but to bring transformation so when you beat children they should say “I’m not supposed to do this next time because it is wrong” they should say that they should not say “my father is mean and angry” you understand what I’m saying you see the difference right exercise self-control anger is a very serious issue for many fathers many fathers because when it is an affront to father’s authority.

You think he is going against me, my honor. And you take action. That's not the right way to do. In Proverbs 23:13 and 14, he says, “Do not withhold discipline from your child. If you strike him with a rod, he will not die.” I think all the parents should be taught this. But our culture and government and people around say it is not right. We have lost a generation because they did not do this.

“If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from death.” Spanking according to the Bible is absolutely necessary. Chapter 29, verse 15: “Rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” Proverbs 13:14: “Teaching of the wise is a fountain of life that may turn away from the snares of death.”

A condition here. Correct discipline is not abusive, it's not vengeful or sporadic. A child should know what boundaries he should not cross and what happens if he crosses. He should know. Tedd Tripp, he says like this about spanking. “When you spank a child, it humbles the heart of the child, making him subject to parental instruction.”

“Spanking renders the child compliant and ready to receive life giving words.” It's very important parents discipline their children. I used to beat with stick till the sticks would break. I would do that. But I learnt that's not the right way. I am just pouring out my anger. My desire or my goal is not to change the behaviour of the child but bring my frustration out. Don't do that in your anger. That's not the goal of discipline. The goal of the discipline is that the children should see what they are doing is wrong.

That's why we should teach the children this word. “Children, obey your parents.” “Children, obey your parents.” They do this because this is the commandment of the Lord. Not because you are big they have to obey you. They obey you because this is the commandment of the Lord. So when you are correcting remember these five things. Do it privately. Do it privately when you discipline.

Tell the children why you are going to spank them and how many spankings you will give also tell them. Say I am going to give you two now because you disrespected or you spoke like this to your mother or you did this. I am going to spank you two on your bum nowhere else. Not the cheeks as you like whatever you get. No, only on the bum, only two. The two, very controlled manner. Okay, make the offense known, why you are going to spank the child.

It is required that they should acknowledge they did wrong. They should say, you should ask, why am I beating you now? That situation will be very tense, very emotional. If you ask the child, why am I going to beat you now? Some of the children will be tappa tappa already.

But they should know I am getting this spanking because of what I did. One day what happened, Shifa was I think, my older daughter was I think she was 5 years old. She did something wrong, something wrong. Not very wrong or... I think she did something or went and touched some electrical thing in spite of telling her not to do that. Took her hands, put them like this, and I said, “I'm going to beat you now here.” She was five years, okay, very smart. Said, “I'm going to beat you now. You're not supposed to touch them ever.” By that time she was so scared. I never beat Shifa, never. So I just tapped

two on her hand, two. And that was the last time I hit Shifa or spanked her. That was the last time. I never did that. They start to look at and tell her this is wrong. I am just telling. Let the child know that what they did is start early. Start early is easy. Okay.

Fourth one, after you spank, embrace the child. After you spank, embrace the child. Reassure and exhort. Encourage. Remember that our sins are forgiven in Christ. Teach them our sins are forgiven in Christ, blood of Jesus Christ and encourage them not to do it again. Did I do that? Yes, I did that. I practiced this and I am teaching that because I practiced this. Because God in His grace changed me or else before, pins would break, sticks would break, belts would break, children would have all kinds of scars around their body. But God in His grace, He changed me, taught me this. And let me tell you, if you do that children will not change. I tell

you that I have raised more than 60 kids and I have done these things to them and beating kids mercilessly or in your anger doesn’t bring any change in their lives. They will be the most worthy in front of you only. After you have gone, they are themselves. It doesn’t bring change. It’s love, it’s correction in teaching that brings change.

And when you are verbally correcting children, I always tell this, be in your senses and correct children verbally. Be in your senses, know why you are going to correct them verbally. Say the right things the right way. You understand why I am saying this? Yeah, because when parents are upset they say things which they would not say to anybody in the world to their children.

In anger, in frustration. No, we are not. We make sure that we are on the children’s side and we respect their dignity, God-given identity and dignity and discipline them. Not disgrace them, not shame them. I know a father, he came to our house and I think one of the sons spoke disrespectfully to me. So that was over. I felt bad. But after going back, the father made the son call me, apologize to that uncle.

The child was crying on the phone and he apologized to me. My heart broke. That is not the right way to do. That’s not the right way to do. And the children are put to shame openly so that they are afraid. They don’t do those things openly again. But is there heart change? No. They learn to be hypocrites in front of people when we do that. Reach for their hearts. Reach for their hearts.

Right. Okay. Consistent in your correction. Okay, six points. Whoever says six points will get a chocolate before we close. All the six points. Without looking? Okay, you can look at your notes. I’m sorry we are late. Dear Ananswari, maybe another five minutes we will close. Yes, okay. First one. Godly fathers know their Heavenly Fathers. Godly fathers love their wives. Godly fathers are role models. Godly fathers love and trust. Godly fathers disciple their children, teach and train. Sixth one, they discipline their children. Finally, Godly fathers are active members in the church family. We can limit fathers only to the families, but as we know, we are members of the church family.

We have a role as fathers in the church also. Because our children come to the same church, they see us in the church. Are we different in the church and at home? Do our children see special people in the church and different people in the church at home?

Are we different at church and at home? Godly fathers are active members in the church family. I didn’t know how else to word it. If you want to make it more special, please do it. Fathers, be committed to the local church. Be committed. Let children see your commitment in the church. This is where we learn and grow in God, in word, in holiness, in fellowship. This is our priority. Your priority to the church is what your children learn as priority to the church.

Not just Sunday fellowships I am saying. Bible studies, prayers, other meetings, men’s meeting, breakfast meetings, all these things. Are you committed? Because this is where we are being transformed into the image of Christ as family. Sharpening one another. Teaching and training one another.

Be encouragement to the fathers in the local church. Fathers, be encouragement to other fathers. This is a responsibility that goes beyond your home into the church family. Fellowship of fathers is important to sharpen one another. Hold each other accountable in the local church. Lead holy exemplary life. Last week I think it was about faithfulness in the marriage. Be faithful husbands and responsible fathers.

And also let me go one step further and say, be spiritual father in the church to somebody. I always long for one. I never had a father. Always be a spiritual father to somebody who doesn’t have father figures in his life or her life. Or somebody who is looking for somebody to mentor.

Do your children see how important church family is to you? Not just outings and fellowship meals. But for Bible studies, prayers and Sunday meetings. We will close now. In all this, let us remember, we need God. Without God’s grace and His strength, I cannot be a godly father. I tried many times, but I cannot be a godly father. His grace, His strength, I draw all my strength, grace and wisdom and authority from Him to be a godly father. Am I perfect? No, I am not perfect. Do I still make mistakes? I do make mistakes and I regret.

And I told you about beating children and I asked them for forgiveness. They have grown up now, working now, married now. I asked for their forgiveness. Still some other I need to ask. In all this, let’s remember God cares for us as father and mothers also. This calls for us to depend on God to be godly fathers, to trust him, depend on him, prayerfully be godly fathers. We cannot be in our own strength. Casting all our anxieties for our children into his loving hands, remembering that Lord’s covenant faithfulness and his commitment to our children. He cares for them, he loves them more than we do.

He has plans for them. Let’s look to God. Let’s look to God. And just a reminder, God is calling us to be godly fathers. To have relationship with Him first. To love our wives, to be role models. This is huge, this is huge. But in all this we look to God, we trust in His sacrificial death on the cross. Because He forgave us, because He washed us, because He is still patient with us as our He is calling us to do the same. Love, forgive, be patient. God is working. Even as you obey His commandments and do what He is calling you to do.

Maybe we didn’t have a good role models. I didn’t know my father, didn’t see him face to face. Maybe you didn’t have time with him or any encouragement from him. All your life you tried to please him but he was happy with what you did or you were never appreciated. But in all this, let’s look to our heavenly father who loves us, who sacrificed his son for us on the cross, that we would know him as our heavenly father. He cares for us, forgives us, gives us another chance and disciplines us in his love so that we come back to him and we are called to do the same. Fathers, this is a special calling for us to look to Him, trust Him, depend on Him, commit our children to Him.

All these points, let’s put them at the feet of Jesus, bathe them in prayer, lift it into His presence and ask Him for strength and grace to take us through this. There is something that we need to repent of, ask forgiveness from our wives and from. Let’s not be proud, arrogant, let’s be humble, ask for forgiveness, ask God to help us to be godly fathers.

Teaching, training, discipling our own children in the way of the Lord, setting an example. Father, we thank you for this wonderful time, this day. We need you. We need you so much. We need your grace so much. May I request all the fathers to please stand up as we submit and surrender to God once again to be godly fathers after his own heart, like him, like him to our children.

All the fathers please stand up, this is between you and your heavenly father, your relationship with him, your dependence on him, your trust in him, to show him to your children, teaching them his work, his greatness, his sacrifice, his forgiveness to this generation. Training them.

Father, we are sorry. We are sorry. Lord, I’m sorry. I missed discipling my children. To do discipline many times. To show how big you are, how great you are. Your faithfulness, your goodness, your mercy. I have seen it so much but I haven’t taught my children. Please forgive me Lord. Forgive me Lord.

Give me your heart. To disciple my children and discipline my children according to your word. Them to you. Teach them your greatness, your love, your forgiveness and your goodness, Lord. Lord, please, please I beg you, I request you that you help us with our weaknesses, Lord.

Help us to deal with all the hypocrisy, Lord. Help us to deal with the pride. Help us to deal with our inadequacies, Lord, our weaknesses, Lord. We put them all at your feet. Sorry, Lord. Help us to be obedient to your word.

With your help, in your grace, help us to be godly fathers. We know we are not perfect, but we are trusting you, looking to you. Please be gracious and help us, Lord, that this church have a new tribe of godly fathers, new band of godly fathers, who raise their children not for the world, in the world, by the world, but for you, your kingdom, your glory. Lord, help me, help us, Lord. We give you our glory and honour. In Jesus’ name we ask and pray. Amen. Thank you. Thank you.